“… Steve ‘sterilized’ his house, repainting inside and out, laying new carpets, hanging new pictures on the walls and buying new furniture. Others have burned photographs, thrown away clothes, and smashed personal belongings.” -Michael Fox, Ph.D., The Emotional Rape Syndrome, pp 22. I sold the bedroom furniture. Before I moved halfway across the country, I decided … Continue reading “I sold the bedroom furniture.”
Author: Divorce Minister
Safe place to fall apart
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…. -Ecclesiastes 3:4, KJV When a marriage ends, we need a space where we can be honest with our pain. Often times, that includes “the ugly cry.” I encourage you all to find a place where you can … Continue reading “Safe place to fall apart”
Godly hope
And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. -Romans 5:5, NLT Hope is precious. We need hope to live. It is just as important to our living as food and water. The … Continue reading “Godly hope”
God reveals Himself as faithful to the faithful!
Lord, it is clear to me now that how we live will dictate how you deal with us. Good people will taste your goodness, Lord. And to those who are loyal to you, you love to prove that you are loyal and true. -Psalm 18:25, TPT God rewards faithfulness. This is a spiritual truth. I … Continue reading “God reveals Himself as faithful to the faithful!”
Shared Tears
“God Weeps Too” by Eli–an obscure Christian artist from the 90s–is one of my favorite songs. While he does not name situations of infidelity survival, I love how he names God as one who weeps alongside the broken-hearted. This understanding of God coming alongside like a good parent or friend was important for me to … Continue reading “Shared Tears”
Their allergic reaction to biblical truth
The demons begged Jesus, “Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them [pigs].” -Mark 5:12, NIV Cheaters often do not want to face the truth. Confronted with the truth about how evil their behavior is, some choose to run away or blame the faithful spouse. The truth burns. Take a cheater who … Continue reading “Their allergic reaction to biblical truth”
Real love is a choice.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” -John 13:34, NIV Jesus is not commanding our feelings. That would not make sense. Our emotions just are. A command implies a choice to do or not to do something. That means we have a choice–i.e. … Continue reading “Real love is a choice.”
People who avoid talking about it….
As for you, you smear me with lies. As physicians, you are worthless quacks. -Job 13:4, NLT The “friend” who tells you to ignore the cheating is not giving good advice. They also fail to understand how traumatic the experience is. I wonder if such people are embarrassed by being duped by the Cheater. That … Continue reading “People who avoid talking about it….”
Another level of evil!
For the land is full of adultery, and it lies under a curse. The land itself is in mourning— its wilderness pastures are dried up. For they all do evil and abuse what power they have. -Jeremiah 23:10,NLT When the cheater is a pastor or “Christian” counselor, it brings another layer of evil to the … Continue reading “Another level of evil!”
Cheaters assume, too much.
“Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him.” -I Samuel 25:25a, NIV Cheaters just assume. They presume. They assume that you will roll over and do their bidding. Cheaters do not think we have a backbone…probably because we … Continue reading “Cheaters assume, too much.”