Public Service Notice: As long as the cheater is still cheating, you do not have a marriage to save. You cannot fix this situation on your own. No matter how much you want to stay married. That is all you will do. You will stay attached to your abuser. What you won’t have is a … Continue reading “No marriage left to save as long as still cheating!”
Author: Divorce Minister
Upset about moral warnings!
…do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. -Malachi 2:15b, NIV Whether it is their conscience or the demonic, I do not know. What I know is some cheaters despise reminders of God’s condemnation of their infidelity. They rage and strike out verbally when reminded what they are doing is wrong in the … Continue reading “Upset about moral warnings!”
Repentance is the price of admission.
“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.” -Luke 17:3b, NIV (emphasis mine) You are wasting your time with a cheater if they are not repenting. The sinful behavior will continue with all its abuse without this critical change. Please, faithful spouse, do not settle for less … Continue reading “Repentance is the price of admission.”
God will not be thwarted!
“As soon as you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the poplar trees, move quickly, because that will mean the Lord has gone out in front of you to strike the Philistine army.” -2 Samuel 5:24, NIV When God has plans for you, He goes before you as He did for King David in this … Continue reading “God will not be thwarted!”
Get out of the wicked cycle
Anyone recognize the following cycle? Cheat. Cheater says, “It was a ‘cry for help.’ [Insert favorite blame directed at faithful spouse].” Cheat, again. Cheater says, “Our marriage problems have nothing to do with [affair partner]. You know that you [insert favorite blame directed at faithful spouse].” Continues cheating. This cycle is nothing new. Cheaters do … Continue reading “Get out of the wicked cycle”
Trivializing pain: “Stuff happens.”
Me: “I got divorced. Then I had to go through a trial with my denomination to keep my license.” Friend: “Don’t they realize that stuff happens.” I do not recommend the “stuff happens” response to someone whose marriage has been blown up by adultery. While I appreciate this friend’s effort to be understanding, the stance … Continue reading “Trivializing pain: “Stuff happens.””
Please, get tested for STDs!
One of the most humiliating aspects of dealing with a cheater is this need to know. If a cheater is unwilling to submit to STD tests, then you have your answer as to how repentant they are–i.e. not at all. It is rather low hanging fruit–so to speak–for a cheater to provide scientifically verified assurance … Continue reading “Please, get tested for STDs!”
Cheater-Speak: “We NEVER talk!”
“We NEVER talk!” cries Cheater. The irony about this sort of statement from a cheater is how their own failure to talk with the faithful spouse is by design. Whether emotional or physical or both, the affair was a relationship cloaked in secrecy. The cheater did not communicate this critical information–namely their cheating–to the faithful spouse. Yet, now, … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “We NEVER talk!””
Divorce is NOT the enemy! Sin is.
But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. -Matthew 5:28, NLT Public Service Announcement: Divorce is NOT the enemy. Sin IS! A pet peeve of mine is hearing pastors talk about the tragedy of divorce as if this the problem. Such talk … Continue reading “Divorce is NOT the enemy! Sin is.”
Dismembered feeling following divorce
I work in hospice and have the opportunity to watch the poignant beauty of marriages that have lasted well past fifty years.* I say, “poignant” because I feel both awed by the sheer beauty of a couple still caring for each other after many decades together as well as sad by my own loss. Recently, … Continue reading “Dismembered feeling following divorce”