God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. -Psalm 46:1, KJV I am enjoying the new album put out by Kim Walker-Smith. There’s a song, “Protector,” about God protecting and holding us. It is one my favorites. Enjoy:
Author: Divorce Minister
Triggering phrase: “Open and honest”
“We need to have open and honest communication,” says Cheater. When I hear the phrase “open and honest,” I am slightly triggered. It sends me back to the conflict with my ex-wife as our marriage ended. The words aren’t bad in and of themselves. Such a goal for communication is admirable. We want to be … Continue reading “Triggering phrase: “Open and honest””
Promises from Isaiah 54
“Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you.” -Isaiah 54:4a, NLT Can we claim the promises in this chapter even though they are about Israel? Yes. These are words to God’s people. We are God’s people as children of God (see I John 3:1). … Continue reading “Promises from Isaiah 54”
Cheaters not behaving as if married
But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble. -Proverbs 4:19, NIV A common theme of stories with cheaters is how they exploit faithful spouse trust. One of those ways is to take advantage of the faithful spouse’s trust that they would not behave in ways … Continue reading “Cheaters not behaving as if married”
Cheater-Speak: “We were married too young.”
“We just married too young. That’s why it didn’t work out.” -Cheater I just do not buy the “married too young” explanation for divorce. It is an excuse. This is a tidy lie to cover up for the cheater’s character deficits and to help people avoid feeling uncomfortable in facing the hard truth: The cheater … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “We were married too young.””
Will you allow Satan drive you away or will you run towards God?
His wife said, “Still holding on to your precious integrity, are you? Curse God and be done with it!” -Job 2:9, MSG When the calamity of infidelity discovery strikes, we have two option: 1) Allow the sins of “man” drive us away from God with a curse. Or 2) Run to God as our only … Continue reading “Will you allow Satan drive you away or will you run towards God?”
Public Service Announcement: Cheating is abuse!!!
Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! – I Corinthians 6:15b, NLT When someone is a cheater, they are also an abuser. You cannot have one without the other. Soul rape is abusive. I am astounded by how cheating and adultery are too often treated … Continue reading “Public Service Announcement: Cheating is abuse!!!”
DM, Am I going to be broken and defined by this forever?
Hi DM, A follow-up question for you. As a reference – I’m going through a divorce after my spouse entered into another affair (sex addict). During a support group, another person who had also experienced infidelity (who is still with their cheater) said, “This is going to scar you for the rest of your life. … Continue reading “DM, Am I going to be broken and defined by this forever?”
Grief: THAT day!
My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God? -Psalm 42:3, KJV Today is September 11th. I will never forget what happened nineteen years ago on this day while I was a freshman in college. The world changed that day. Two towers were taken down. … Continue reading “Grief: THAT day!”
Image protection over real repentance
Cheaters are often more worried about what people think about them than what they actually did. This is the reason that they are so upset when faithful spouses dare tell others about their adultery. Such revelations make them look bad. It is hard to spin committing adultery in a positive light–especially in a Christian community. (Albeit, some … Continue reading “Image protection over real repentance”