“You HAD TO know he was cheating on you!” “Come on, man! You HAD TO know she was cheating on you!” Anxious Outsider Outsiders might feel entitled to give their advice unsolicited. They might feel threatened by their vulnerability and trot out these “gems.” My response to such madness: “I don’t know what kind of … Continue reading ““You HAD TO know!””
Author: Divorce Minister
Forgiveness when they are running away…
Forgive as the Lord forgave you. -Colossians 3:13b, NIV It is hard to give someone a gift when they are running away from you. This is the picture of someone who is unwilling to repent and turn to you for the gift of forgiveness. They are not in a position to receive the gift. … Continue reading “Forgiveness when they are running away…”
Jesus, Joseph, Mary, and Divorce on Christmas
This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, … Continue reading “Jesus, Joseph, Mary, and Divorce on Christmas”
Gifts of change
Change is hard. I think this is doubly so during the holidays. Maybe you are having a very different holiday season this year. I don’t know. What I do know is opportunities arise with change. This Christmas Eve… What gifts to you see with the change? Some of my life’s greatest joys have come … Continue reading “Gifts of change”
Community Divorce Grief
Divorce impacts a community. Like the sin of adultery, it is not a private affair (see Deut. 22:22). The divorce hits the whole network of relationships. It is painful to face the reality that a couple is no longer a couple. This is doubly so when you like and connected with both spouses. This way … Continue reading “Community Divorce Grief”
Want revenge? Rebuild and make an amazing life!
Want revenge? When you are deeply hurt, it is natural to want revenge. It is natural to want to make the cheater hurt like the cheater hurt you. However, I hope you do not give into those feelings. Acknowledge them, yes. Act on them to cause actual harm, NO. The best revenge for infidelity is … Continue reading “Want revenge? Rebuild and make an amazing life!”
Furry or (Feathered) Friends
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? -Matthew 6:26, NIV The DM household expanded by two this past week when Mrs. DM brought Kirk and Trip home. They are Green … Continue reading “Furry or (Feathered) Friends”
Marriage Stressors and Infidelity
Money issues do not cause adultery. Lack of “communication” does not cause adultery. Emotional or physical distance does not cause adultery. Even one spouse committing adultery does not cause the other’s adultery. _________ All of these things put tremendous stress on the relationship. In the case of adultery, it is a death blow to what … Continue reading “Marriage Stressors and Infidelity”
Dear DM, Misleading Meme?
Dear DM, Longtime reader here. Thank you for your good work. I recently saw a facebook post by someone that I think is misleading. It says what sinners many key bible figures were, and says God qualifies the called. I thought of you when I read it, and how you clarify God expects remorse and … Continue reading “Dear DM, Misleading Meme?”
Thoughts on HuffPo Article
An article appeared on Huffington Post on December 13th entitled: “A Therapist Explains: Can a Relationship Truly Heal After an Affair? Yes, but expect a different relationship on the other side” (Click on title to be directed to the article). It is a mailbag sort of article where someone writes in about healing from an affair … Continue reading “Thoughts on HuffPo Article”