“Talking about that triggers my toxic shame. So, let’s talk about something else,” says Cheater. Anguish over the awful things they did may very well be real. And they need to go through it to heal the matter, NOT avoid it. Honestly, Cheaters talking about toxic shame are often using it as excuse to avoid … Continue reading ““Talking about that triggers my toxic shame.””
Author: Divorce Minister
Actions Over Words
They say they’re sorry…. …but refuse to cut off contact with their affair partner. I am sorry to tell you that they are NOT truly sorry. Their actions betray the truth. They are sorry that they were caught! They say they want an open and honest relationship… …yet they continue to lie to you and … Continue reading “Actions Over Words”
Demons and Cheating
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. -I Peter 5:8, NKJV When I speak of the demonic and cheating, I want to be clear. I do NOT believe or support the idea of a cheater being a mere victim of the demonic. … Continue reading “Demons and Cheating”
New Possibilities In New Year
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11, NIV God has big things in store for you! When going through tough things, I found it important to remember this is not everything. The darkness … Continue reading “New Possibilities In New Year”
(Good) New Things Coming!
18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. -Isaiah 43:18-19, KJV I love history. Maybe that love of the past … Continue reading “(Good) New Things Coming!”
Nothing YOU Can Do
For everyone belongs to me, the parent as well as the child—both alike belong to me. The one who sins is the one who will die. -Ezekiel 18:4, NIV Nothing you can do! This is another way of saying the cheating is in no way your fault. You cannot control whether or not your cheater chooses … Continue reading “Nothing YOU Can Do”
Despair is a nasty liar
And this hope is not a disappointing fantasy, because we can now experience the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us! -Romans 5:5, TPT Despair lies all the time. It tells you to live in fear and give up all hope of a better future. … Continue reading “Despair is a nasty liar”
Cheaters Playing “The Martyr”
“Let’s separate. I think that would be best for us both to heal,” says Cheater. Some cheaters will attempt to cloak their sins in robes of nobility. They will profess mutual benefit while using such as a cover to betray they spouse. That is just how some cheaters “roll.” They play the long-suffering martyr. However, … Continue reading “Cheaters Playing “The Martyr””
“You MUST have known!”
“You MUST have known about her cheating,” says anxious outsider. “No way you didn’t have an idea that she was cheating,” says another anxious outsider. Whether or not you had suspicions (or even knew of the cheating) is not the same as giving them permission to cheat. Let’s be honest: Anxious people saying such things … Continue reading ““You MUST have known!””
If we confess our sins…
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. -I John 1:9, NIV If we confess… This condition is rarely met with a cheater. They are unwilling to come clean with all their sins. Certainly, they are reluctant to seek forgiveness from their … Continue reading “If we confess our sins…”