Day and night I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?” -Psalm 42:3, NLT Hurts SOOO much! It is hard to overstate how awful it feels to discover your spouse has been unfaithful to you. The pain is literally debilitating. Basic life functions like … Continue reading “Hurts SOO much!”
Author: Divorce Minister
Inflated Sense of Entitlement
An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?” -Proverbs 30:20, NLT Only a cheater could confess to infidelity in one breath and in the other demand that you win their trust back in the other! It is truly a moment in life that is stranger than fiction. Yet I … Continue reading “Inflated Sense of Entitlement”
His Joy
…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. -Hebrews 12:2, NIV (emphasis mine) As I reflect on the Scriptures about Jesus’ death, I am struck by this … Continue reading “His Joy”
So many decisions even in the act!
Cheating does not “just happen.” So many deliberated choices are made by cheaters that pave the way to violating their marriage vows. Infidelity is NEVER just one “mistake.” They had to make a series of poor choices. -To have sex with someone not their spouse, they had to first find this individual. -They had to … Continue reading “So many decisions even in the act!”
Allowances and Understanding
Eight days later the disciples were together again, and this time Thomas was with them. The doors were locked; but suddenly, as before, Jesus was standing among them. “Peace be with you,” he said. -John 20:26, NLT Eight days! Jesus has already shown up once to the Disciples. Yet the Disciples are still in a locked room … Continue reading “Allowances and Understanding”
Split Selves
An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, “What’s wrong with that?” -Proverbs 30:20, NLT I am convinced some cheaters have so blocked off parts of their lives that they genuinely believe the lies they tell to their partners. They believe God is good with them. Their dark other life–or lives–are … Continue reading “Split Selves”
Make the rules
Cheaters believe they get to make the rules. This is part of the reason they go into a rage when they discover court consequences. The control is no longer theirs. It isn’t a high school break up. Part of “justifying” their sins is making up rules that “excuse” it. These are rules like “we weren’t … Continue reading “Make the rules”
False Hope Enables Cheaters Abuse
Sharing only testimonies of reconciled and restored marriages following adultery… …feeds false hope in “reconciliation” for faithful spouses dealing with unrepentant cheaters. Show of hands. How many here thought their marriage was going to “make it” and then you would have a testimony about marriage reconciliation to share with others? I know I did. The … Continue reading “False Hope Enables Cheaters Abuse”
Masterful Manipulators
Masterful Manipulators It helps to recognize our cheaters may be masterful manipulators. These are individuals who know how to play people to do what they want them to do. Some cheaters can even confess to cheating to a pastor and counselor and then somehow make the session about how bad their spouse is! Obviously, you … Continue reading “Masterful Manipulators”
Not everything is spiritual, but somethings are!
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. -Ephesians 6:12, NIV Not everything is spiritual warfare, but somethings are! I was pondering this idea today. It came from feeling … Continue reading “Not everything is spiritual, but somethings are!”