What do you do to calm yourself when you feel anxious? I usually get anxious when a medical provider is taking my blood pressure. The fear of “failing” this test just makes it a self-fulfilling prophecy as my anxiety rises and with it, my blood pressure. Telling myself to “calm down” just doesn’t work. What … Continue reading “Power of pet love”
Author: Divorce Minister
Flip the competition
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV Oddly, pastors and Christian counselors have been known to make the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Flip the competition”
“Bad Christian”… Ok, whatever!
“You’re a ‘bad Christian’ for not doing ….” -Cheater This shaming label used to make me jump to do my ex and others’ bidding. I did not want to be seen as a “bad Christian.” Then I wised up to the source. I stopped seeking that source’s approval and validation. Is an unrepentant adulteress really … Continue reading ““Bad Christian”… Ok, whatever!”
Mismatching
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “Mismatching”
Professionals Minimizing Cheating
Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, KJV When pastors and counselors focus on the faithful spouse’s “faults,” they are minimizing the cheating and the seriousness of this sin. This is why … Continue reading “Professionals Minimizing Cheating”
Not friends with ex-wife
How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Some Christians expect faithful spouses to remain “friends” with their cheating ex-partner following divorce. This is insane! The expectation is wound up in a twisted and perverted understanding of what forgiveness demands in this situation. Guess what? … Continue reading “Not friends with ex-wife”
Enjoying a new tune
While not particularly about infidelity, I have found a new song enjoyable. It has a spunk about it. The song is about refusing to be spiritually manipulated anymore. Enjoy:
Harming and then blaming you!
“You made me do this!” cries Cheater. One of the many painful aspects of dealing with a cheater is how they frame their cheating abuse. Some of this cruel individuals will blame the victim while they harm them. They might blame them for choosing to abandon them as if the faithful spouse had a say. … Continue reading “Harming and then blaming you!”
Early Awful Discovery Days
When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. -Job 2:12, NIV The early days of infidelity discovery are awful! I want to encourage you if you find yourself in this part of the horror show. It does get better! … Continue reading “Early Awful Discovery Days”
Divorced in heart?!
Cheater: “I had an emotional affair, but I sorted it all with my individual therapist and am fine. The problem is my spouse.” Pastoral Care Provider: “Spouse, don’t you see you’ve divorced them in your heart?!” If you experience something like this, find another pastoral care provider. They are not giving godly advice. The provider … Continue reading “Divorced in heart?!”