Listen to this catchy new country song by Cam: The temptation is to blame the other person involved with our cheater. It is easier to focus our rage at them as opposed to the real source of our hurt. The cheater. I love the lyrics in this song talking about blaming the Other Woman as … Continue reading “The REAL problem!”
Need Supportive Voices
Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. -Exodus 17:12, NLT We all need an “Aaron” and a “Hur” … Continue reading “Need Supportive Voices”
Cheated On Support Group Coming!!!
Cheated On Support Group Starting Tuesday, May 7th! At Destiny Church, Rochester, MN I have decided that it is time to launch an in-person support group for faithful spouses and their supporters. This support group will start in Rochester (MN), and I will see what response I find from folks. If it goes well, I … Continue reading “Cheated On Support Group Coming!!!”
Skipping over the injustice part
Hate evil and love what is good; turn your courts into true halls of justice. Perhaps even yet the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies will have mercy on the remnant of his people. -Amos 5:15, NLT I am a firm believer that injustice must first be acknowledged before we can heal from it. This step is often skipped in … Continue reading “Skipping over the injustice part”
Cheater-Speak: “I never intended to hurt you.”
“I never intended to hurt you,” says Cheater. Did you get this line (or a version of it) from your Cheater? These disordered freaks actually think this makes things better. They say this as a way to get a “pass” of sorts for their nasty, wicked behavior. They are–again–protecting themselves at the cost of caring … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I never intended to hurt you.””
Just Do NOT Engage!
Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are. -Proverbs 26:4, NLT If someone is not willing to listen, save your breath. They have made up their mind, and you are best moving on. You do not need to stick your head into that mind-blender. Move on. Let … Continue reading “Just Do NOT Engage!”
Not linear
Grief is not linear and is not rational. I don’t know about you, but I wish this was otherwise about grief. It would be nice to say that when you’ve gone through one task then it is done. But that is NOT how grief works. It doesn’t go through orderly phases in sequence. It isn’t … Continue reading “Not linear”
A prayer to help heal and forgive
Here’s a prayer I wrote for anyone struggling letting go of anger towards a cheater and their apologist(s). This prayer serves as a reminder that we have a say in letting go of our anger, which is based on our trust in God’s character. In my experience, we have to practice choosing to let go over and … Continue reading “A prayer to help heal and forgive”
To be seen and heard!
13 Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?” 14 So that well was named Beer-lahai-roi (which means “well of the Living One who sees me”). -Genesis 16:13-14a, NLT Faithful spouses … Continue reading “To be seen and heard!”
Gonna end it on own, really?!
Ever have your Cheater offer to end the affair on their own? I mean that they offer to tell the Affair Partner privately–without you–that it is over. That offer is not worth much. You are taking the word of a liar who has demonstrated a willingness and ability to carry on a double-life. “Receipts” are … Continue reading “Gonna end it on own, really?!”