“Why did you cheat?” asks faithful spouse. “You know I’ve been unhappy in our marriage for a while,” says Cheater. Unhappy Excuse Some cheaters may want to make you in charge of what only they can solve–i.e. their inner feelings. They make it sound like you have the power to control their happiness or misery. … Continue reading “Unhappy Excuse”
Understandably Stuck
I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. -Jeremiah 3:8, NIV Feeling stuck in staying in a marriage to a cheater is understandable when that cheater is the primary source of finances for your family. I get it. To a lesser degree, I understand how being the lower … Continue reading “Understandably Stuck”
Move on to supportive people
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! -Isaiah 5:20, KJV Part of the injustice faithful spouses often experience is a less than supportive community of people. Sometimes, even confessing Christians will not accept what … Continue reading “Move on to supportive people”
Football Critical Error and Cheating
Years ago, I remember film sessions after practice or a game playing football. These sessions could be downright brutal. They were exercises in accepting responsibility. The coach would play the tape watching for each misstep or wrong assignment. He would then slow down the film and hit repeat when he caught you doing something you … Continue reading “Football Critical Error and Cheating”
Cheater-Speak: Not Why I’m Divorcing You!
“Yes, I slept with him. But that is not why I am divorcing you,” says remorseless Cheater. A cheater saying such a thing is a cheater who is desperate to control how people see them in the divorce. They understand that Christians may look upon them poorly once their adultery is known. So, they want … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: Not Why I’m Divorcing You!”
Fixation on faithful spouse reaction
“A friend of mine is a great example of someone who brought sin into his houseful of kids through his 40-year porn addiction and then had an encounter with God that empowered him to change. …His wife is still playing the role of the punisher, and his children are still distant, regardless of his change … Continue reading “Fixation on faithful spouse reaction”
Bad Fruit: Sexual Prosperity Gospel
“It is ironic, then, that Christians who denounce the prosperity gospel have in recent years touted its sexier, if subtler, form: the sexual prosperity gospel…. [The Sexual Prosperity Gospel] holds that God will reward premarital chastity with a good Christian spouse, great sex and perpetual marital fulfillment.” -Katelyn Beaty in “Joshua Harris and the sexual … Continue reading “Bad Fruit: Sexual Prosperity Gospel”
Yet we did not
Cheater apologists like to focus on the marriage conditions to let the cheater off the hook. The thing is that those conditions were endured by TWO people. However, only one of those two cheated. Same conditions–if the true cause–ought to produce same outcomes. But they do not. It is not like we did not have … Continue reading “Yet we did not”
Yes, truly good!
If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? -Matthew 7:11, KJV Our God is a Good Father. Today, that was driven home to me in an answer to many prayers relating … Continue reading “Yes, truly good!”
Rebuke them yet?
“Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.” -Luke 17:3, NKJV “Did you rebuke her?” This question never came up in my ecclesiastical trial to retain my ministerial credentials.* They were quick to ask me about “forgiveness,” yet they did not ask this important question as far as … Continue reading “Rebuke them yet?”