And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two.
-Matthew 5:41, NKJV
In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
-Matthew 23:28, NIV
When dealing with a “Christian” cheater, another level of complexity is placed on Christians trying to figure out how to respond.
Some pastors will teach a blanket statement from Jesus about always loving your enemies (see Matthew 5:44). They will push this Scripture as the most important Scripture for the situation (along with the verses on forgiveness, of course).
I see a discernment and wisdom problem here.
Jesus does not treat people in the same way. The passage about enemies is clearly about Jews and Gentiles as the Romans were the one compelling the Jews to walk a mile. Jesus was not talking primarily about those inside the community, in my opinion.
When it comes to religious people, Jesus reserved his harshest words. Some might not call them very loving.
I think they are loving in the sense that he speaks truth to shock the harden religious people out of their complacency and warn others of the threat they present. The command to love our enemies has to be walked out within this fuller context of Jesus’ ministry.
Cheaters usually fall into the category of Pharisees rather than outsider enemies.
They are completely content with their sin. In fact, they might try to “justify” it with religious language.
This sort of person needs the tough love that Jesus exhibits for the Pharisees and teachers of the law found in Matthew 23. They don’t need a soft touch as they are already self-assured of their wickedness. These cheaters need a wake up call before they fall of the spiritual cliff to damnation.
Does DM have anything published that gives any treatment to the concept that “Forgiveness is for me” and not for the person who injured me? And before anyone responds this way no I’m not bitter, no I’m not looking for loopholes, and I absolutely agree that you need to let go and move on.
What I’m looking for is biblical support for that idea, the concept that “Forgiveness is a gift I give myself” because I don’t see that as biblical. I don’t see Jesus forgiving because it was a gift for Himself. Jesus forgave to save sinners, to redeem our relationship. It seems to me that is biblical forgiveness, and it is consistent with repentance being fundamental.
I plan on writing about this and could use a hand. My brothers-in-Christ are quick to point out that I am commanded to forgive and that’s true; as DM has written I am commanded to forgive a repentant person who asks. Total 100% agreement. “But forgiveness is a gift you give yourself” yes I know, but I wish there was a different word because that concept is not biblical as far as I can tell. I prefer “Acceptance” or “Letting go” or “Made peace with.” Those are a gift to myself, absolutely.
Jesus did not forgive unrepentant people and I figure he would have, if forgiveness was a gift He gives Himself.
I would love it if you pointed me to any of your writings that addresses this.
A lot of my writing on this addresses forgiveness as a one-sided matter (Spoiler: Biblical forgiveness is NOT one sided). People pushing this sort of “forgiveness” are pushing something that makes them look “wise.” But it is much more complicated than that in the Bible.
Here are a few of my posts on that:
http://www.divorceminister.com/is-god-doing-this-forgiveness-thing-wrong-then/
This first link addresses your concerns directly. I make the point about how God forgives is the model for us. He forgives when we seek Him. It isn’t a gift He gives Himself 😉
http://www.divorceminister.com/even-gods-forgiveness-of-us-is-not-one-sided/
http://www.divorceminister.com/understanding-forgiveness-from-matthew-614-15/
http://www.divorceminister.com/misreading-the-unmerciful-servant-parable/
DM you have the wisdom of Solomon! Thank you so much!
I’m not an apologist and I’m not a scholar, but I have an intuition of God’s character from bible reading and prayer. It is very validating to find my thoughts agreeing with people like you who are scholarly.
Thank you for your writing and your ministry.
Glad to be of service!