In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord;

My hand was stretched out in the night without ceasing;

My soul refused to be comforted.

-Psalm 77:2, NKJV

Grief gets me with positive memories or associations from the past.

It is strange like that.

Years of never thinking about something or someone are suddenly interrupted with a name of a place. A picture. A song.

Society seems to treat grief as a one and done sort of thing. Why aren’t you over “it” or “her”/”him” already? is the battle cry of these folk.

People–especially Christians, sadly–do not have the patience to face the reality of this messy emotional process.

We are not deficient just because we have grief moments years after the losses. This is perfectly normal.

Part of being kind to ourselves as faithful spouses is embracing this reality. We need to understand that despite what others think of us–it is okay  for us to feel grief years later.

We need to be the person who gives us space to feel the losses. Be the kind person you need for yourself. Put down the self-condemnation!

Emotions do not behave according to the mind. They have a way of surprising us. That is their nature.

It is neither good or bad. This just IS.

I encourage you to remember this the next time grief smacks you out of nowhere.

 

 

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