She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. But that treacherous sister Judah had no fear, and now she, too, has left me and given herself to prostitution.
-Jeremiah 3:8, NLT
Is the “Never Divorce” stance on marriage really just plain, old idolatry?
Now, before I answer this, I want to be clear I was sympathetic to the camp prior to my own painful divorce from a cheater. That said, I never held this position as it came to matters where adultery was involved.
My pastoral opinion is the “Never Divorce” stance IS idolatry.
God does not treat marriage the same way as these individuals treat marriage. Ending a marriage was always an option in God’s book in dealing with matters of adulterous sin.
He did not teach the nation of Israel to have adultery victims stay married to the adulterous. Instead, God taught the punishment was death for the adulterous and thereby the ending of the marriage (see Deuteronomy 22:22, Leviticus 20:10).
Marriage was not to be maintained at all costs or under every condition.
I wonder how many faithful spouses have been offered up on the idolatrous altar of “never divorce?” Personally, this is why I believe we see such destruction attached to such a position.
It is idolatry.
The marriage is worshiped over God and God’s clear call for repentance before reconciliation or forgiveness (e.g. Hebrews 10:26-27, Luke 17:3, etc).
So, it should not surprise us when we see the fruits of death associated with the worship of this idol.
God is life, not human marriage.
That said, I do not believe the remedy is the other extreme of divorce at will for any reason. That would be a sinful distortion of marriage as well.
God’s design for marriage was that it would be monogamous and for a lifetime. However, we live in a world of sin that means this ideal is not always achievable.
God recognized the reality of sin and its impact on the marriage institution as well providing the mercy for the victims of adulterous abuse to escape via divorce from the destruction due for the adulterous party (see Matthew 19:9).
*A version of this post ran previously.
