Let’s make church a place for the sinned-against, too!


When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

-Matthew 9:36, NIV

Protestant churches are places for sinners. True.

Are they places for those sinned against?

Of course, we are all sinners in a need of our Savior (see Romans 3:23). Yet some of us need special care. The sort of care that Jesus offered here in Matthew 9:36 to the hurting and confused crowds as opposed to the “rod” He used on the Pharisees and teachers of the Law in calling them children of the devil (e.g. John 8:44).

Is your church a safe place to admit you are an adultery victim? Or is the official stance that no such victims exist in a marriage ravaged and ended via adulterous betrayal(s)?

A church is not a safe place if the official stance on divorce is always that both contributed to its demise. And such a place is not Biblical as God recognizes that adultery ends marriages (see Deut. 22:22, Jer 3:8, Mt 1:19, and Mt 19:9).

I have written before about how the church can become such a place that welcomes and supports adultery victims (click here). My hope is the church–the Bride of Christ–becomes more like Him. I desire to see a church that welcomes faithful spouses without shame but rather the pride due to someone who has survived a great tragedy, which it is.

It begins by seeing adultery victims. 

Then it is followed by treating them as if unjustly wounded as opposed to perpetrators or authors of the evil done to them.




2 thoughts on “Let’s make church a place for the sinned-against, too!”

  1. This!

    My husband committed adultery and I’m the one who had to leave my church and town. Him? He’s still there. The toast of the town. It’s like I and my children never existed.

    Do I trust the Lord? Yes. Do I trust the church? Probably never will fully again.

    So, DM THANK YOU for finally putting into words what my heart has been screaming for years.

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