“You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
– John 8:44, NASB.
If you have ever talked with other survivors of infidelity or read the literature describing cheaters’ excuses, you will soon discover the lies cheaters tell are very common and unoriginal. It is as if they were given the POOR CAUGHT CHEATER’S BOOK OF EXCUSES.
A couple of old standbys in this book include lines like: “You drove me to cheat by your ____(weight gain, overworking, frigidity, lack of attention…insert use of tailored-made grievance here)” or “God would want me to be happy” or “Our marriage was always just a lie.”
What has struck me of late is how none of the Christian literature on the subject that I read actually identifies an explanation for such coordinated lying and abuse of faithful spouses. For a serious student of Scripture, the explanation is obvious:
It is demonic.
Scripture is very clear that Satan is the author of lies. It is his nature. Furthermore, we know that he makes plans or schemes to destroy us (see 2 Cor. 2:10-11, I Peter 5:8). So, what can we conclude about the origin of a situation that is marked by a common set of coordinated lies designed to destroy lives and marriages?
It is pretty obvious.
Satan and his demonic minions are involved.
Now, this does not mean the cheater is absolved for his/her choice to commit adultery. “The Devil made me do it” will not cut it on Judgment Day. Nor should such an excuse ever cut it in any biblical pastor’s office.
The adultery and accompanied lies are 100% on the cheater. They opened the door and welcomed the demonic in with open arms. Now, they are dining with them. The only way out is through repentance and asking God to come purify them. In fact, they may even need deliverance.
Back to the passage from John quoted at the start of my post: notice how Jesus’ words are about the Pharisees, and He does not mince words about their own responsibility for lying. They chose to lie. It is on them.
However, Jesus is also instructing us to realize that we exist in a spiritual world. A world at war. As Paul states, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places” (Eph. 6:12, NASB).
I write this post to remind us all of this spiritual reality. I want us to always keep in mind that we are in the battle and even more so if we find ourselves dealing with adultery. Do not drop your sword–i.e. truth, which is God’s word–and do not concede ground to Satan’s lies.
God’s word is mightier than the deceptive darts of the Evil One.
Never forget that.
*A version of this post ran previously on the blog.