Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
-Romans 12:19, NIV
The struggle is real.
All the crummy injustices faithful spouses experience including dealing with months–or even years!–of lies, loss time with kids, a damage reputation, legal bills up the wazoo, and maybe even an STD–to name just a few–all provided courtesy of the selfish, careless cheater.
It is enough to push someone over the edge in seeking revenge.
You want them to pay.
Pay dearly for the humiliation and pain that they caused you!
But as a Christian, we are not to seek revenge as this verse from Romans commands us. It is God’s place to mete out justice and vengeance. Not ours!
So, how do we conquer this very real, fleshly struggle in wanting or seeking revenge?
We begin by taking God at His word.
God says that He “will repay.”
The cheater gets away with nothing. God promises that He will deal with the injustice(s).
So, that means we need to work on trusting God. And I think that works by entrusting said injustices to Him and trusting God’s just nature.
“God, I am angry over how she destroyed my job by cheating on me and divorcing me. It is not fair that I suffered because of her sinning against me. Yet I choose to hand this injustice over to you knowing you will deal with it being a wise and just God who cares about how much this hurt me. Amen.”
Name the injustice.
Say how you feel about it.
Then make a decision to hand it over to God affirming your faith in Him even if you do not feel it in the moment. Choose it. Say it.
Then, every time you feel yourself being sucked into the cycle of thinking on how you will exact your revenge, remember your commitment to hand it over to God and reaffirm your trust in Him as just and good.
As you work this faith muscle, you will find the emotions and impulse to seek revenge relax over time. I did.
But that only comes via acknowledging the real injustice(s) and choosing faith in God as good to His word to deal with said injustices.
This is really what I think it means to forgive when dealing with unrepentant cheaters. You give the injustices and hurt feelings to God for Him to handle.