A shot at reconciliation denied.

Peace.

One of the things that gave me peace–after some time of healing–about my first marriage ending was that I gave it a shot. I left the door open to a godly reconciliation.

Once I knew about the adultery, I kicked the ball back into her court. I gave her the option of repenting from her cheating or continuing with divorce. She chose divorce.

I do not think everyone has to give a cheater that choice (see Matthew 19:9). Listen to what Holy Spirit is telling you on that number. What I am convinced of is I heard from Holy Spirit then, and I am glad I gave her that one last shot.

You cannot have a godly marriage when one partner is unwilling to stop cheating (and convince the other it is so–see Hebrews 13:4).

Now, a cheater and others might be perfectly happy with you remaining in a marriage with ongoing cheating. But I do not believe that is what God expects of us (see Mathew 1:19). I am glad I gave it one last shot. Laying out the option of godly repentance or divorce for her was the right thing for me to do. It gives me peace looking back on that ending.  
*A version of this post ran previously.
 

One thought on “A shot at reconciliation denied.”

  1. This was my story too.
    She even went to couple’s therapy with me expressly for reconciliation. She would not follow the ground rules laid out by the therapist and soon left. Therapist later told me that my XW had many problems and I couldn’t fix them. I was very glad to have made the effort, because it gave me some closure.
    That was 22 years ago. I have remarried, have eight grandkids between us and am very active at my church.
    Just saying I am glad not to be still struggling to stay afloat in my old marriage.

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