Yet an elder needs to be one who is without blame before others. He should be one whose heart is for his wife alone and not another woman. -I Timothy 3:2, TPT Tullian Tchividjian, disgraced and defrocked former senior pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church, is complaining, again, about how Christians are too hard on cheaters. He … Continue reading “Another Tullian Tchividjian Cheater Pity-Fest”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Giants? What is God then?
“The land we traveled through and explored will devour anyone who goes to live there. All the people we saw were huge. We even saw giants there, the descendants of Anak.” -Number 13:32b-33a, NLT Choose to trust God or give into giant-fear? When going through divorce, many issues look insurmountable. We can see the loses. … Continue reading “Giants? What is God then?”
Cheater-Speak: “We never…” Really?!
We never… …talk about our finances. Answer: “Then what was that three hour session we had planning how to sell our place, which was underwater?” …have sex. Answer: “Then what was that we were doing last Sunday afternoon together?” …do anything fun. Answer: “Then why were you smiling last Saturday clearly enjoying our trip together to the City?” … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “We never…” Really?!”
Good friends feel our pain, too!
“Let Me Show You the Way” is an old but favorite song from Michael W. Smith. He really captures the heart of true friendship. This song by MWS speaks to what I believe is a human longing. It is a longing for a good friend who loves at a deep, heart-level. These are the friends … Continue reading “Good friends feel our pain, too!”
Criticisms say a lot…
In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise. -Proverbs 10:19, NKJV People’s criticisms say a lot… …but not necessarily anything about the one criticized. This is a lesson impressed upon me during my formal training in clinical pastoral care. It is an important lesson to remember … Continue reading “Criticisms say a lot…”
What DO I say to an adultery victim as a pastor?!
“And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.” -Matthew 10:42, NIV What DO I say to an adultery victim as a pastor? Yesterday’s post raised this question. Dr. Skinner suggested a … Continue reading “What DO I say to an adultery victim as a pastor?!”
PTSD and adultery from expert, Dr. Kevin Skinner
Dr. Kevin Skinner is an American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT) supervisor who does research in the area of sexual betrayal. Here is his biography. His research into the matter of sexual betrayal has led him to the conclusion such betrayal leads to PTSD for many of its victims. He talks about being … Continue reading “PTSD and adultery from expert, Dr. Kevin Skinner”
Jesus is condemning, too!
“Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.” -Jesus in John 3:18, NIV Jesus is condemning, too! We often make God in our own image or an image we prefer. That image of Jesus is … Continue reading “Jesus is condemning, too!”
You have your integrity still.
When Peter saw him [John], he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” – John 21:21-22, NIV It is understandable. You have been soul raped and your world has been turned upside down by your partner’s selfish, … Continue reading “You have your integrity still.”
When condemning is a good thing!
O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you? Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you? Yes, I hate them with total hatred, for your enemies are my enemies. -Psalm 139:21-22, NLT When condemning is a good thing… Currently, most people will not have a problem condemning pedophilia. It is wrong, and talking about victims may evoke anger over … Continue reading “When condemning is a good thing!”