Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT Choosing to cheat is just that… A CHOICE! It is a sinful choice. And a God-defying choice. A choice that the chooser explicitly said, promised, and vowed … Continue reading “PSA: To cheat is a choice!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Somehow cheaters think they will never get caught…
But if you fail to keep your word, then you will have sinned against the LORD, and you may be sure that your sin will find you out. -Numbers 32:23, NLT (emphasis mine) What amazes me is how cheaters seem to believe their sins and treachery are beyond discovery by faithful spouses! To be fair, … Continue reading “Somehow cheaters think they will never get caught…”
Faithful Spouse, Fixing Yourself Does Not Fix This.
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God… -Romans 3:23, KJV While it is wise and admirable to work on one’s own sins, issues, and shortcomings, I believe it is important to be clear about one thing: Faithful Spouse, “fixing” yourself cannot fix your adultery-ravaged marriage. Despite what “Christian” books and … Continue reading “Faithful Spouse, Fixing Yourself Does Not Fix This.”
On Preferring To Be “Imagining Things”
Discovering you spouse has been committing adultery is an incredibly traumatic experience. -You want to be wrong–even crazy is preferable to the real traumatic mess this actually is! -You want your world not to be upended and obliterated like it is. -In short, you want to wake up from this nightmare. This is grief and … Continue reading “On Preferring To Be “Imagining Things””
Not Responsible for Ex-Wife’s Adultery!
Parents are not to be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin. -Deuteronomy 24:16, NIV Today, I quote some basic justice principles laid out in the Old Testament. It is actually rather clear; however, the dynamics around infidelity often put both survivor … Continue reading “Not Responsible for Ex-Wife’s Adultery!”
Again: O, the injustice!
There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless. So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then … Continue reading “Again: O, the injustice!”
Dear DM…What I do not understand…
Dear DM, I appreciate the biblical explanations on your site. I have been married 24 years. I dealt with infidelity/adultery in the first 3 years of marriage and because we were Christians, and I loved my husband we reconciled. I thought we were worked through that many years ago and that was over. Fast foreword … Continue reading “Dear DM…What I do not understand…”
It is easier to hate the Other Man or Other Woman.
But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself. Proverbs 6:32, NLT When I first discovered the Other Man, my righteous anger burned hot against him! I really wanted to mess him up in that moment of discovery. He had defiled my marriage with my wife. Raped my soul! Then … Continue reading “It is easier to hate the Other Man or Other Woman.”
He stopped committing adultery. Do I have to stay married to him?
“He stopped committing adultery and seems to be repenting. Must I remain married to him?” -Faithful Spouse Some pastors would vehemently disagree with the position I take on this matter. They would try and add to the teachings of Jesus by insisting faithful spouse must take back cheaters who have stopped cheating. I do not hold such … Continue reading “He stopped committing adultery. Do I have to stay married to him?”
Why am I still so anxious and not “healed” already?
Why am I not “healed” already? -Faithful Spouse So, it has been a year since you discovered your spouse was cheating on you. You are wondering why you still get “triggered” and feel incredibly anxious. Speaking from personal experience and working with faithful spouses, this is a fairly usual response to infidelity discovery. Your world … Continue reading “Why am I still so anxious and not “healed” already?”