For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with brooks, streams, and deep springs gushing out into the valleys and hills…. -Deuteronomy 8:7, NIV I remember the bad days. Sometimes, it was all I could do to remind myself to eat. I lost serious weight from the trauma of it all. … Continue reading “Better days are ahead!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
On “Root of Bitterness”
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. -Hebrews 12:15, NIV In order to avoid the discomfort of facing injustice and naming it as such, some Christians turn on faithful spouses calling them “bitter.” They are too … Continue reading “On “Root of Bitterness””
Reminder: Cheating is abuse!
Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! – I Corinthians 6:15b, NLT When someone is a cheater, they are also an abuser. You cannot have one without the other. Soul rape is abusive. I am astounded by how cheating and adultery are too often treated … Continue reading “Reminder: Cheating is abuse!”
Will not rebuild
“Even if she cheated on me, I would still stay with her and try to make the marriage work,” says faithful spouse. “You’d just hold that over her head forever,” replies cheater apologist. When this is the mentality or response from the cheater side, you know the marriage is done. This sort of response exposes … Continue reading “Will not rebuild”
Never the true focus of their affection
I recently attended a conference where the speaker, Pastor Joel Brooks, said something that got me thinking. He was talking about the difference between the two kingdoms: God’s and Satan’s kingdoms. In particular, he pointed out ways humans engage in behavior that is opposite love. In one of the contrasts he drew, Pastor Brooks shared … Continue reading “Never the true focus of their affection”
Triggered: “Open and honest”
“We need to have open and honest communication,” says Cheater. When I hear the phrase “open and honest,” I am slightly triggered. It sends me back to the conflict with my ex-wife as our marriage ended. The words aren’t bad in and of themselves. Such a goal for communication is admirable. We want to be … Continue reading “Triggered: “Open and honest””
Run towards or away?
His wife said, “Still holding on to your precious integrity, are you? Curse God and be done with it!” -Job 2:9, MSG When the calamity of infidelity discovery strikes, we have two option: 1) Allow the sins of “man” drive us away from God with a curse. Or 2) Run to God as our only … Continue reading “Run towards or away?”
Cheating is abuse. It is not morally neutral behavior.
Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! – I Corinthians 6:15b, NLT When someone is a cheater, they are also an abuser. You cannot have one without the other. Soul rape is abusive. I am astounded by how cheating and adultery are too often treated … Continue reading “Cheating is abuse. It is not morally neutral behavior.”
Inquiring Mind: Did you love her?
“Did you ever love her?” OR “Did you ever love him?” This is such a simply stated question. However, it is far from simple when applied to a cheater. Looking back on the marriage and how it ended, it is complicated. How can you say you ever loved someone who revealed they were utterly different … Continue reading “Inquiring Mind: Did you love her?”
Reconciliation, NOT Restoration
And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:19b, NIV Reconciled to friendship, NOT marriage! What often bothers me about Christians talking about marriages ravaged by adultery is how “reconciliation” is thrown about as the same thing as marriage restoration. It is not. A former couple could experience true reconciliation … Continue reading “Reconciliation, NOT Restoration”