Discovering you spouse has been committing adultery is an incredibly traumatic experience. -You want to be wrong–even crazy is preferable to the real traumatic mess this actually is! -You want your world NOT to be upended and obliterated like it is. -In short, you want to wake up from this nightmare. This is grief and … Continue reading “Preferring to be wrong”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Fact: Cheaters flunked marriage.
“You shall not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, NIV (from The Ten Commandments) Fact: Cheaters are marriage flunkies. One of the most basic lessons in Christian marriage is adhering to this classic and consistent prohibition regarding sex with marriage outsiders. Cheaters have–spectacularly, in some cases–flunked this most basic of marriage lessons. Yet for some reason, … Continue reading “Fact: Cheaters flunked marriage.”
You ARE wanted!
Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. -Ephesians 1:4, NLT I love the feeling of being “wanted” or “needed” by someone. It is the feeling of knowing your love and attention are welcomed and desired. How about you? I … Continue reading “You ARE wanted!”
Where are all the “Adultery Prevention Seminars?”
Where are the “Christian Adultery Prevention Seminars?” Sure, there are plenty of “affair-proofing” marriage seminars. But I am talking about the sort of seminars where pastors talk about adultery and taking personal responsibility for one’s own sins. Instead of talking about the horrors of divorce–like pretty much every pre-marital book I read does–why not talk … Continue reading “Where are all the “Adultery Prevention Seminars?””
Adultery impacts the community
If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, KJV Too often, adultery is treated as a private matter between the faithful … Continue reading “Adultery impacts the community”
Were not looking for it!
Even when filing the divorce papers, the faithful spouse really did not choose this outcome. What they chose was a marriage free of infidelity! The filing of the papers was the choice they had left after the choice of the cheater to destroy the agreed upon future by being unfaithful. The good options–the preferred option–was … Continue reading “Were not looking for it!”
Beware of sand foundations!
But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. -Matthew 7:26, NLT We all know it is a sand foundation. This is the truth of trying to rebuild a marriage with the infidelity left unaddressed or treated as a “minor” problem. The marriage … Continue reading “Beware of sand foundations!”
Shallow people
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV This verse could easily be said of cheating men as well. They all have a shallow understanding of “love.” The marriage relationship is turned into an exchange rather than a commitment. So, … Continue reading “Shallow people”
Disconnected Professions
Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” -Malachi 2:13-14a, NIV The disconnect between what some “Christians” say and do is astounding: -A cheater apologist can talk about righteous living while turning a … Continue reading “Disconnected Professions”
Adultery is NOT a footnote!
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV How can you miss it that bad?! How can someone read and understand the Bible yet treat adultery as a “regrettable footnote” to a marriage ending? It astounds me … Continue reading “Adultery is NOT a footnote!”