Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us…. -Romans 8:33-34a, NLT What faithful spouses need more than spiritual advice are people willing to listen to them without condemnation. Faithful spouses are recovering … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Faithful spouses need condemnation free spaces, pastors!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
In defense of blaming
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. -2 Corinthians 5:10, NIV Secular and–sadly–some “Christian” circles have a tendency to talk about divorce as devoid of blame. It is … Continue reading “In defense of blaming”
THAT “Christian”
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. -I John 3:18, NIV There is a type. Something was “off” with him. Sure, this person had all the appearances of righteous Christian. He talked about “grace” and “repentance.” Yet something did not “square.” His words and actions, ultimately, did … Continue reading “THAT “Christian””
Why I focus on adultery on Divorce Minister
With so many divorces happening via “no fault” divorce laws today, it might seem strange to focus on adultery when talking about divorce. I take this objection or concern as an opportunity to explain my blog’s focus and reasoning behind it: 1. I focus on divorce and adultery because that is how Jesus approached the subject … Continue reading “Why I focus on adultery on Divorce Minister”
Changed cheater appearance for the charade
So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. -Proverbs 6:29, NIV Did you ever notice how your cheater changed their appearance when they were cheating? Maybe your cheater got glasses–even though, he or she does not need them medically? Maybe your cheater suddenly became a fitness nut … Continue reading “Changed cheater appearance for the charade”
“How long, O Lord?!” cries the oppressed.
How long will my enemy triumph over me? -Psalm 13:2b, NIV When enduring the many injustices of marriage infidelity discovery, this is a common refrain of the heart. Life is very unfair. It seems like the cheater is “getting away with it.” The cheater seems so happy. They are get the thrills and you are … Continue reading ““How long, O Lord?!” cries the oppressed.”
PSA: On “private definitions”
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! – Isaiah 5:20, KJV Private Definitions of Cheaters I can remember my undergraduate philosophy professor telling us on multiple occasions how to deal with difficult argument situations. … Continue reading “PSA: On “private definitions””
Temptation of the fantasy “reconciliation”
I can distinctly remember driving down a major highway back home wishing the pain to end. Part of me knew there was no going back to how things “were.” I still missed the fantasy, though. The ending of my marriage came with tremendous losses; this I knew in the deepest of places. I just wanted … Continue reading “Temptation of the fantasy “reconciliation””
Self Doubt’s Lasting Legacy
But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. -Hebrews 5:14, NKJV I still struggle honoring my own experience as valid. Cheaters are “good” at devaluing the faithful spouse’s experience. They do not want them to believe the … Continue reading “Self Doubt’s Lasting Legacy”
PSA: Never divorce stance is hazardous!
Public Service Announcement: When divorce is NEVER acceptable, then every sort of evil behavior in the marriage IS acceptable! This is what taking a hard stance against all divorce entails. Requiring faithful spouses to remain married after adulterous activity is enabling abusive, sinful behavior. It is toleration of adultery. God gives us permission to divorce … Continue reading “PSA: Never divorce stance is hazardous!”