Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Validation. It is a precious gift!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
The sin of silence
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV If you know something, say something. It is that simple. We are commanded to expose the “deeds of darkness,” NOT to keep them hidden. Adultery definitely qualifies as such a dark deed. Imagine learning a “friend” knew for … Continue reading “The sin of silence”
You get to CHOOSE your victory narrative!
Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. -Isaiah 61:7a, NLT Why would you choose to accept the lie-filled narrative from your cheater as your own narrative? Choose your own victory narrative! Remember: You are not the rejected spouse. RATHER, you are the FAITHFUL SPOUSE! You are not the morally … Continue reading “You get to CHOOSE your victory narrative!”
Selecting a Pastor: I wish I could say…
Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. -Matthew 15:14, KJV I wish I could say an older pastor will be more discerning and wiser than a younger pastor on matters of adultery and divorce. But that would be a … Continue reading “Selecting a Pastor: I wish I could say…”
The merciful gift of NOT knowing everything but just enough.
It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. -Ephesians 5:12, NLT Sometimes not knowing everything is a mercy from God. I am convinced this is true in my case. The conversation I will never forget is the one I had with my (now) ex-wife finally admitting to an adulterous relationship … Continue reading “The merciful gift of NOT knowing everything but just enough.”
What I Peter 3:6 does NOT say!
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. -I Peter 3:6, … Continue reading “What I Peter 3:6 does NOT say!”
I hope Ben Zobrist wins his lawsuit against his former pastor!
News of a lawsuit filed by former Cubs baseball star Ben Zobist against his former pastor and counselor hit the “wire” yesterday. The allegations are that Byron Yawn, their former pastor and counselor, used his position to both have sex with Zobist’s wife and exploit Zobist’s celebrity status. Typical in these sad affairs was allegations … Continue reading “I hope Ben Zobrist wins his lawsuit against his former pastor!”
Grief and reunions
I wrote this a few years ago reflecting on a college reunion. Today, I thankfully feel less entwined with those contrasting feelings since I have been back to the city of my alma mater a few more times with Mrs. DM. Obviously, a version of this post ran previously. This weekend happens to … Continue reading “Grief and reunions”
Ripples felt years later
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. -Proverbs 27:6, KJV People who have not lived the experience might not understand the incredible devastation cheating inflicts on faithful spouses. Years can pass and the losses can come up in a micro-second. A song plays. A Facebook post is … Continue reading “Ripples felt years later”
WCF 1646: Supported Divorce!
“Adultery or fornication, committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, giveth just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce, and after the divorce to marry another, as if the offending party were dead.” … Continue reading “WCF 1646: Supported Divorce!”