Category: Trauma of adultery

I care about you, but not enough to…

The words of the reckless pierce like swords,     but the tongue of the wise brings healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NIV   I care about you BUT not enough… …to end my friendship with the adulterous spouse until she repents. My thoughts: “Sorry, your concern for me sounds skin deep. Scripture is clear that a person who … Continue reading “I care about you, but not enough to…”

Update on Ben and Julianna Zobrist divorce situation

“According to Ben’s brief, Julianna admitted in her deposition that she was ‘engaging in sexual relations with both husband and Pastor Yawn prior to husband’s leave of absence’ from the Cubs and continued ‘her sexual affair while the parties were attending marital counseling.’” -Phil Thompson, “5 things to know about the Ben and Julianna Zobrist … Continue reading “Update on Ben and Julianna Zobrist divorce situation”

Cheater-Speak: “But we were separated.”

“It is not adultery. We were living apart at the time,” says Cheater. A cheater trying to avoid responsibility for violating their marriage vows might attempt to use the “geography excuse.” This is the one where they excuse their behavior as “acceptable” since they were living apart from their spouse. They might even have started … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “But we were separated.””

Not a kiss, but rather a final hug.

“Goodbye in her eyes” by Zac Brown Band It wasn’t a kiss. It was a hug. We had just finished our dentist appointments. She had forgotten that she had made joint appointments. I had already confronted her about the Other Man about two weeks prior. She was still lying about him and still denying adultery. … Continue reading “Not a kiss, but rather a final hug.”

“Yes, it is a problem. Adultery is THE problem!”

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Which is the biggest marital sin that one can commit according to the Bible? Adultery. Cheaters–and sometimes, even well-meaning pastors–sometimes treat adultery as a side problem to marriage troubles. This … Continue reading ““Yes, it is a problem. Adultery is THE problem!””

Cheater-Speak: “You weren’t doing enough.”

“You weren’t pulling your weight in this family. So, I was all alone and overwhelmed with everything. That’s why I cheated,” says Cheater. The poor overwhelmed cheater was able to make space in her calendar to lie, steal, and risk the physical well-being of their spouse. Such a cheater is trying to illicit pity in … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “You weren’t doing enough.””

Yes, they DO get more vicious while cheating!

They demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right. -Romans 2:15, NLT Sometimes cheaters become crueler to their spouses when they are actively engaged in infidelity. They cheat and attend couples counseling where they tell the counselor or … Continue reading “Yes, they DO get more vicious while cheating!”

God knows “just the right time”

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. -Romans 5:6, NIV “At just the right time” I think we are conditioned as a species to think the “right time” is when we are able to “save ourselves.” We think that is when a partnership with God is appropriate. … Continue reading “God knows “just the right time””

Cheater-Speak: “I’m afraid of him.”

“I’m afraid of him,” she–aka the cheater–says. This like a blank check that a female cheater can cash in at anytime for sympathy and support from pastors and therapists alike. Most do not bother to ask any followup questions as to why she is claiming such fear. If they do, they might get: “I’m afraid, because … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I’m afraid of him.””