I admire those faithful spouses who were able to enforce their boundaries with “just” one revelation of infidelity. These rare souls know they deserve to be treated better. And they have no problems enforcing their “deal-breakers” as in “You cheat on me, and we are over. Period.” And for those who come here that are … Continue reading “An ode to self-respect: “Babe” by Sugerland”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Preparing for that first, post-infidelity discovery couple’s session
Cheating is exposed. Now, the cheater is willing to go to couples therapy and rebuild what the cheater destroyed. How does a faithful spouse approach such sessions with a Christian couples counselor? 1. Remember you have choices here. Did you choose this counselor? What do you know about him or her? If this person is … Continue reading “Preparing for that first, post-infidelity discovery couple’s session”
When all seems lost, cling to God.
Some songs can invoke a time in our lives with just a few notes. This song, “You Won’t Relent,” by Misty Edwards does that for me. It transports me back to the immediate time after my divorce. The devastation of an unwanted divorce is incredible. I think this is especially true for those of us … Continue reading “When all seems lost, cling to God.”
“For the kids?” How about taking adultery seriously?!
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Adulterous spouses have no shame. On one hand, they will willfully and maliciously disregard how their selfish sinful choices impact their children. Then, on the other hand, they will … Continue reading ““For the kids?” How about taking adultery seriously?!”
Cheaters and their vague answers
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. -John 3:20, NIV Have you ever noticed how the answers often go vague when a cheater is caught and is questioned regarding their sins? The cheater can vividly describe your “shortcomings.” No problem there. The … Continue reading “Cheaters and their vague answers”
That “bitter card” play
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. – Hebrews 12:14-15, NIV I am suspicious of … Continue reading “That “bitter card” play”
God forgave, and yet King David still faced consequences for his sins!
Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” -2 Samuel 12:13-14, NIV Forgiveness does NOT wipe out all consequences for the … Continue reading “God forgave, and yet King David still faced consequences for his sins!”
Repenteance first is how godly forgiveness has always worked!
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. -2 Chronicles 7:14, KJV “IF….and turn from their wicked ways; THEN…will forgive their sin….” … Continue reading “Repenteance first is how godly forgiveness has always worked!”
Freely chosen.
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Cheaters freely chose to marry their spouses. This free choice came with the explicit commitment to exclusiveness. That is the usual marriage vow of “forsaking all others.” Now, if … Continue reading “Freely chosen.”
Those cheater tears!
“I could tell my father about how, a month after we separated, my ex called me up and told me through tears that he’d slept with someone else, and it wasn’t good, and could we still divorce but be friends with benefits?” -Hännah Ettinger in “Ending an abusive marriage is hard. Ending one in the … Continue reading “Those cheater tears!”