“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.” -Matthew 23:27, NKJV I have noticed a common phenomenon with cheaters and their families of origin. Often times, they come from families that have an appearance of … Continue reading “Perfect picture without substance behind it.”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Fact: Cheaters are the marriage flunkies!
“You shall not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, NIV (from The Ten Commandments) Fact: Cheaters are marriage flunkies. One of the most basic lessons in Christian marriage is adhering to this classic and consistent prohibition regarding sex with marriage outsiders. Cheaters have–spectacularly, in some cases–flunked this most basic of marriage lessons. Yet for some reason, … Continue reading “Fact: Cheaters are the marriage flunkies!”
Adultery Prevention Seminar. What would it look like?
Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. -Song of Solomon 2:15, NIV What would a “Christian Adultery Prevention Seminar” entail? I think it all begins with healthy reminders about how we are all vulnerable to this sin when we marry another person. We only … Continue reading “Adultery Prevention Seminar. What would it look like?”
Where are all those Christian “Adultery Prevention Marriage Seminars?”
Where are the “Adultery Prevention Marriage Seminars?” Sure, there are plenty of “affair-proofing” marriage seminars. But I am talking about the sort of seminars where pastors talk about adultery and taking personal responsibility for one’s own sins. Instead of talking about the horrors of divorce–like pretty much every pre-marital book I read does–why not talk … Continue reading “Where are all those Christian “Adultery Prevention Marriage Seminars?””
Community Fall Out
If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, KJV Too often, adultery is treated as a private matter between the faithful … Continue reading “Community Fall Out”
Once seen and experienced…
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. -I Corinthians 13:11, NKJV I was dangerously naive in my first marriage. This was very apparent to me as I entered through the valley … Continue reading “Once seen and experienced…”
Am I “bitter” towards my old denomination? No.
Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. -Hebrews 12:15b, NLT When I went through my divorce from a cheater, my (now) former denomination required me to undergo an ecclesiastical trial (now altered in process) to retain my ministerial credentials. I succeeded in retaining my credentials as the … Continue reading “Am I “bitter” towards my old denomination? No.”
Certainly nobody’s first choice
Even when filing the divorce papers, the faithful spouse really did not choose this outcome. What they chose was a marriage free of infidelity! The filing of the papers was the choice they had left after the choice of the cheater to destroy the agreed upon future by being unfaithful. The good options–the preferred option–was … Continue reading “Certainly nobody’s first choice”
Anger fades with time and work
God is a just judge, And God is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NKJV Anger is a healthy, godly response to adultery. I will say that again: Anger is a healthy, godly response to adultery. When we do not feel angry over such injustice and wickedness, something is seriously wrong with our walk with the Lord. He is angry … Continue reading “Anger fades with time and work”
New Book Resource: UNFOLD
Dear Readers, Recently, I was contacted by a blog reader who wrote a book about her experience. I asked her to write up a little blurb about her book and promised to post it on my website. Below it a link to her book (just click on the book image) and the little blurb she … Continue reading “New Book Resource: UNFOLD”