Anger towards “supporting characters”

God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NLT Oddly enough, my anger was often directed to other bad actors in my divorce instead of the prime character–my (now) ex-wife. Certainly, I had good reason to feel angry towards those others. It was actually healthy to feel this … Continue reading “Anger towards “supporting characters””

“Forgiveness” Rather Than Repentance “Concerned” People

…and if you see him going the wrong direction, cry out and correct him. If there is true repentance on his part, forgive him. -Luke 17:3, TPT I wonder if you have experienced versions of these questions or statements. They usually come from well-meaning (but emotionally and biblically tone-deaf) Christians: “So, have you forgiven her?” … Continue reading ““Forgiveness” Rather Than Repentance “Concerned” People”

Bitterness or Anger Over Injustices?

God is a just judge, And God is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, NKJV Christians are quick to judge faithful spouses as “bitter” without pausing to consider another–more likely–origin of such strong anger: Injustice. To be angry at injustice is a good and godly response to have. It is not “bitterness” but … Continue reading “Bitterness or Anger Over Injustices?”

The deliberateness of cheating

People downplay the deliberateness of cheating. All sorts of language is employed to minimize what is truly something very clearly chosen by the cheater… again and again. They might call it “a mistake,” “a cry for help,” or “one night stand.” All of this is minimizing the choices that led to the infidelity plus the sinful … Continue reading “The deliberateness of cheating”

Hope, anger, and courage quote

I ran across this quote attributed to Augustine the other day as I was reading about dealing with serial bullies (in Free Us From Bullying: Real Solutions Beyond Being Nice by Paul Coughlin). This quote struck me as very applicable to situations dealing with a cheater. These two things are good and “beautiful daughters” in such … Continue reading “Hope, anger, and courage quote”

Hate evil! Have a heart after God’s.

Ye that love the Lord, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked. – Psalm 97:10, KJV Do you love the Lord? The command here in the Psalms is rather clear: Hate evil! It is strong language. But this is what Scripture teaches us. … Continue reading “Hate evil! Have a heart after God’s.”

Do not let them “get” to you!

If you live without restraint and are unable to control your temper, you’re as helpless as a city with broken-down defenses, open to attack. -Proverbs 25:28, TPT Boy, this is a hard one to learn. Cheaters seemed skilled at needling their partner just where they are the most vulnerable. It might be over their “manhood” … Continue reading “Do not let them “get” to you!”

Sadness remains

Grief lingers on long after forgiveness has put anger to bed. This is my experience now years removed from my divorce from a cheater. The anger is long gone. Yet I find myself feeling sad as I think of what was lost, tragically. I say tragically as it never had to happen. Yet God allows … Continue reading “Sadness remains”