Safe Target I have a theory: I think some Cheaters cheat because they feel safe to do so with their faithful spouse. They never felt safe with their own family. So, they decide to rebel, not as a teenager, but as an adult. Sadly, this “rebellion” is very, VERY costly for the faithful spouse. In … Continue reading “Safe target”
Category: Cheating
Mere footnote
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT Faithful Spouses, we have a choice: Do we keep on allowing the cheater to be the central player in our life story or do we go out and take command of our story forging decisions … Continue reading “Mere footnote”
A hug, not a kiss
“Goodbye in her eyes” by Zac Brown Band It wasn’t a kiss. It was a hug. We had just finished our dentist appointments. She had forgotten that she had made joint appointments. I had already confronted her about the Other Man about two weeks prior. She was still lying about him and still denying adultery. … Continue reading “A hug, not a kiss”
THE sin problem!
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Which is the biggest marital sin that one can commit according to the Bible? Adultery. Cheaters–and sometimes, even well-meaning pastors–sometimes treat adultery as a side problem to marriage troubles. This … Continue reading “THE sin problem!”
More vicious
They demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right. -Romans 2:15, NLT Sometimes Cheaters become crueler to their spouses when they are actively engaged in infidelity. They cheat and attend couples counseling where they tell the counselor or … Continue reading “More vicious”
Yes “….at just the right time”
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. -Romans 5:6, NIV “At just the right time” I think we are conditioned as a species to think the “right time” is when we are able to “save ourselves.” We think that is when a partnership with God is appropriate. … Continue reading “Yes “….at just the right time””
Rebuilding Trust
Rebuilding trust WITH YOURSELF! If you are at all like I was, it was particularly disorienting making all the awful discoveries knowing the infidelity had been going on for some time. While it obliterated trust with one’s Cheater, it also undermined one’s own trust in self. How could I have missed this for so long? … Continue reading “Rebuilding Trust”
Misplaced Anger
God is a righteous judge, a God who displays his wrath every day. -Psalm 7:11, NIV Misplaced Anger Have you ever been the target of your Cheater’s misplaced anger? Or should I call it rage? They decided that YOU are the obstacle to their GREAT HAPPINESS! If only you were different or behaved different or weren’t … Continue reading “Misplaced Anger”
Slipping up
“But if you fail to do this, you will be sinning against the Lord; and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.” -Numbers 32:23, NIV A slip. An admission is made. The veil of lies is lifted for a brief moment of truth-telling. Then it is back to the old games of … Continue reading “Slipping up”
Cheater Still Blaming Spouse
“Sure, I cheated in the past. But I sorted that with my individual therapist. We agreed my emotional affair was really just a symptom of my marriage problems,” says Cheater. So much of the pastoral or other Christian counseling is biased towards “saving” the marriage. This bias can lead to the pastor glossing over a … Continue reading “Cheater Still Blaming Spouse”