For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. -Luke 8:17, NIV Discovering infidelity is disorienting. What a faithful spouse needs are clear heads. What a faithful spouse does NOT need is someone feeding their disbelief over the cheating. An … Continue reading “Others’ disbelief is unhelpful”
Category: Cheating
Healing Validation
Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Healing Validation”
Financially stuck
15 Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, 16 and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? -James 2:15-16, NLT Financially Stuck Some of us stay stuck with our Cheater, because … Continue reading “Financially stuck”
Silence IS sin!
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV If you know something, say something. It is that simple. We are commanded to expose the “deeds of darkness,” NOT to keep them hidden. Adultery definitely qualifies as such a dark deed. Imagine learning a “friend” knew for … Continue reading “Silence IS sin!”
“Telling” to manipulate
“Telling” to Manipulate Normally, a Cheater coming “clean” with what they did is a good sign that you have something to work with (if you so choose). Yet how they disclose is important and can completely invalidate that hope. If your Cheater discloses and then launches into how you “drove them” to cheat, this is not repentance … Continue reading ““Telling” to manipulate”
Yes, get angry!
“‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath….” -Ephesian 4:26, NKJV God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day. -Psalm 7:11, KJV Anger can be a gift. We ought to become angry over unrighteousness as God is angry over such things. … Continue reading “Yes, get angry!”
Choosing a pastor
Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. -Matthew 15:14, KJV I wish I could say an older pastor will be more discerning and wiser than a younger pastor on matters of adultery and divorce. But that would be a … Continue reading “Choosing a pastor”
Accused of being “manipulative”
Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. -Psalm 1:1, NLT Cheaters often project their own treacherous behavior or character upon their marks. This is what is happening, in my opinion, when Cheaters call faithful spouses “manipulative.” They are … Continue reading “Accused of being “manipulative””
Lying into Liars.
Outside the city are the dogs–the sorcerers, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idol worshipers, and all who love to live a lie. -Revelation 22:15, NLT Lie to Liar. At some point, I believe God gives Cheaters over to their lies. They no longer are people telling lies. They are liars. The lie is what … Continue reading “Lying into Liars.”
Cheater-Speak: “I think it’s best…”
“I think it’s best for both of us if we live apart.” -Cheater A Cheater saying something like this is a Cheater planning on abandoning the faithful spouse. Now, they may or may not be self-aware about this. It is possible that they are so self-deceived that they believe the lie about the separation benefits. … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I think it’s best…””