Even a faithful spouse “choosing” to divorce their cheater is really not the choice. They had chosen to be married for life to a person who left all others. However, that person decided to change things. They chose adultery. That just left bad options for the faithful spouse. The faithful spouse choosing divorce is a person … Continue reading “The real choice”
Category: Cheating
“Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but…”
“Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but you’ve got issues, too,” says false “friend.” You need to lose “friends” that respond in this sort of way to your infidelity trauma. They are not behaving as a friend. In fact, they are making things worse by equating your imperfections with a double-life of lies and … Continue reading ““Yeah, I know she cheated on you, but…””
I don’t get it.
I don’t get faithful spouses wanting to be friends with their Cheaters. Sure, there’s pressure to do this “for the kids” if kids are involved. Some may feel pressure from outsiders to do this to not burden them with the ugliness that is reality. It makes sense for Cheaters to want this–i.e. to be “friends.” … Continue reading “I don’t get it.”
Contrasting Lay Christian Counselors
Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success. -Proverbs 15:22, NLT I had contrasting experiences with two Christian couples who offered me counsel during and after my divorce. The first couple were a disaster for my marriage. They picked sides and pushed my Cheater towards divorce. The contempt towards me in those … Continue reading “Contrasting Lay Christian Counselors”
Gets Angry!
In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, even to His ears. Then the earth shook and trembled; The foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken, Because He was angry. -Psalm 18:6-7, NKJV My God gets … Continue reading “Gets Angry!”
Souls are eternal, not marriages.
For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. -Matthew 22:30, KJV This verse is very clear. Jesus tells us human marriage does not endure in heaven. Since this is true, spiritual counsel ought to take this into account. The priority ought to … Continue reading “Souls are eternal, not marriages.”
On “forsaking”
forsake verb: to renounce or turn away from entirely On “…forsaking all others….” When we make this vow at the altar, we are ACTIVELY committing and vowing to give up other partners. It is a commitment that is only beginning that day as it must be renewed each day by each spouse. A wise spouse recognizes … Continue reading “On “forsaking””
On being assertive
On Being Assertive A few weeks ago, I was on a solo trip down to Iowa. On this trip, I went to a local restaurant to have dinner. They asked if it was okay to seat me in a booth, and I acquiesced to this. The problem is that I am a large man. In … Continue reading “On being assertive”
Could have gone differently!
A danger for faithful spouses is focusing on the fantasy and not the reality of their situation. A spouse who cheats is the opposite of what the faithful spouse signed up for on their wedding day. Obviously, the marriage could have gone a very different way. That was the expectation, actually–i.e. a lifelong, faithful relationship. I think … Continue reading “Could have gone differently!”
So cut off
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV This proverb is true for all genders as it comes to cheating. Cheaters have no shame. I was thinking about the phenomenon of Cheaters not connecting the dots as it comes to … Continue reading “So cut off”