“A friend of mine is a great example of someone who brought sin into his houseful of kids through his 40-year porn addiction and then had an encounter with God that empowered him to change. …His wife is still playing the role of the punisher, and his children are still distant, regardless of his change … Continue reading “Fixation on faithful spouse reaction”
Category: Cheating
Yet we did not
Cheater apologists like to focus on the marriage conditions to let the cheater off the hook. The thing is that those conditions were endured by TWO people. However, only one of those two cheated. Same conditions–if the true cause–ought to produce same outcomes. But they do not. It is not like we did not have … Continue reading “Yet we did not”
Rebuke them yet?
“Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.” -Luke 17:3, NKJV “Did you rebuke her?” This question never came up in my ecclesiastical trial to retain my ministerial credentials.* They were quick to ask me about “forgiveness,” yet they did not ask this important question as far as … Continue reading “Rebuke them yet?”
Not upset enough!
“Rebuke your mother, rebuke her… Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” Hosea 2:2a,c, NIV I lacked the proper anger towards my (now) ex-wife when she admitted to cheating emotionally. Honestly, I did not care at the time. From my perspective, it came across as another way … Continue reading “Not upset enough!”
Want to make it right!
Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” -Luke 19:8, NLT Repentance looks like generous restitution! Actions tell us the real contents of the heart. We see … Continue reading “Want to make it right!”
Reverse Victim Offender
What is amazing is how cheaters can play the victim while they are actively abusing their own spouse via lying and cheating. The faithful spouse might spend a whole series of counseling sessions with a pastor and their cheater never knowing about the infidelity. These meetings turn into faithful spouse bashing sessions. It is sick. … Continue reading “Reverse Victim Offender”
Cheating like nuclear plant accidents
Yesterday, I was scrolling on my phone. I came across one of those reels about relationships where they read a Reddit thread. This one was about a situation where there likely was cheating. One of the presenters said something like this: Cheating is like accidents at a nuclear facility; they need to be zero. The … Continue reading “Cheating like nuclear plant accidents”
Flip the competition
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. -Jeremiah 3:8, KJV Oddly, pastors and Christian counselors have been known to make the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Flip the competition”
Mismatching
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “Mismatching”
Professionals Minimizing Cheating
Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, KJV When pastors and counselors focus on the faithful spouse’s “faults,” they are minimizing the cheating and the seriousness of this sin. This is why … Continue reading “Professionals Minimizing Cheating”