“I’m being faithful to God,” says Cheater. “Sounds like you believe that,” replies faithful spouse knowing otherwise. I don’t miss arguing over reality with my Cheater. Those were crazy-making experiences. She would attempt to force her will on me to agree to a certain narrative. It was a power struggle. I am glad those days … Continue reading ““Sounds like you believe that.””
Category: Cheating
Validation. What a gift!
Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Validation. What a gift!”
Sin is to be silent.
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV If you know something, say something. It is that simple. We are commanded to expose the “deeds of darkness,” NOT to keep them hidden. If we do not obey a command, we are sinning. It is a sin … Continue reading “Sin is to be silent.”
CHOOSE your VICTORY narrative!
Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. -Isaiah 61:7a, NLT Why would you choose to accept the lie-filled narrative from your cheater as your own narrative? Choose your own victory narrative! Remember: You are not the rejected spouse. RATHER, you are the FAITHFUL SPOUSE! You are not the morally … Continue reading “CHOOSE your VICTORY narrative!”
Love this new country song
I love a new song on the country stations is about someone who is no longer consumed by thinking about a paramour. This song is a statement about someone who is no longer entrapped by a feelings and thoughts about a Cheater–e.g. wondering where he is at night. It is a song expressing what it … Continue reading “Love this new country song”
Blaming their misery on you!
“Can’t you see that I am ‘dying’ here!” says dramatic Cheater. Some Cheaters want to make you responsible for their happiness or misery. They refuse responsibility for their own feelings. The danger arises when we believe them and accept such responsibility, which isn’t ours to carry. We do not have the power to control the … Continue reading “Blaming their misery on you!”
Lying to Liar
Outside the city are the dogs–the sorcerers, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idol worshipers, and all who love to live a lie. -Revelation 22:15, NLT Lie to Liar. At some point, I believe God gives cheaters over to their lies. They no longer are people telling lies. They are liars. The lie is what … Continue reading “Lying to Liar”
Somehow I was wrong?!
“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I wonder how many of us had “skilled” Cheaters who could turn their wrong into “our” fault in the therapist’s or pastor’s office. Maybe they even freely admitted to cheating on you … Continue reading “Somehow I was wrong?!”
Cheater-Speak: “I think it is best….”
“I think it’s best for both of us if we live apart.” -Cheater Cheaters saying this is speaking for both parties to serve their own nefarious agenda–i.e. unfettered access to cheat. Strange how Cheaters get to decide for the whole couple what is best! They did not ask but rather told their partner what is … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I think it is best….””
If not you, then someone else.
21 For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. -Mark 7:21-22, NLT If not you, then someone else. I suspect the seeds for cheating were already planted within the Cheater’s heart when we first married them. They may or … Continue reading “If not you, then someone else.”