Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV The affair is never about the other–i.e. faithful–spouse. I know this is a controversial thing to write. But it is true from a pastor’s perspective. We know this truth from … Continue reading “NOT about the other–faithful–spouse!”
Category: Cheating
Stop reading the tea leaves!
Stop reading the tea leaves! I was guilty of this. Every small signal of kindness or basic civility I took to mean that my marriage might survive. It was a lie, though. I was deceiving myself. This is where having good friends is key. These friends can speak the hard but necessary truth about your … Continue reading “Stop reading the tea leaves!”
Give up trying to control
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. -Psalm 139:23-24, KJV A natural temptation is to focus on controlling or directing the cheater’s behavior. Please do your best to resist this temptation! … Continue reading “Give up trying to control”
What does it profit…
36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? 37 Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? -Mark 8:36-37, KJV But they are so successful and behave as if nothing happened! They’re off living this luxurious life while I am struggling to … Continue reading “What does it profit…”
Cheater-Speak: “How did you find out?”
“How did you find out?” says incredulous, busted Cheater (“Shoot! He DID find out. I gotta figure out how to shut down that channel of information!”) When a cheater gets busted and their first impulse is to learn how you discovered them, you know that cheater is the opposite of repentant. Such is pride speaking–namely, … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “How did you find out?””
Why an infidelity abuse support group? Cheated On Support Group Starts 9-9-24!
Why create an infidelity abuse survivor support group? When I went through my experience of divorce from my Cheater, nothing like this existed. The closest is a national Christian ministry for divorce situations in general. That syndicated ministry was helpful because of the excellent local leaders. Yet it was not exactly what I needed. Unique … Continue reading “Why an infidelity abuse support group? Cheated On Support Group Starts 9-9-24!”
Value Added Worldly Wisdom
Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. -Colossians 2:8, NLT “… for better or worse… rich or poor…” Cheaters do not allow the traditional wedding vows to touch their hearts. They come at marriage … Continue reading “Value Added Worldly Wisdom”
Wicked Flee
The wicked run away when no one is chasing them, but the godly are as bold as lions. -Proverbs 28:1, NLT Cheaters sometimes exhibit odd behaviors. I think those behaviors may be motivated by guilty consciences who know what they are doing is very wrong. They do odd things like a wicked person trying to … Continue reading “Wicked Flee”
Deluded Cheaters
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Cheaters are often self-deluded. They think that if they have justified their infidelity to themselves then it is justified. Nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing justifies committing adultery! God does not hand out exceptions to the Ten Commandments. That is not how this most basic … Continue reading “Deluded Cheaters”
Cheater-Speak: “I never meant to hurt you.”
“I never meant to hurt you,” says Cheater. “So, does that make what you did less awful than it is in your head?” says Faithful Spouse. Imagine management. That is what such a statement is about. They are trying to portray themselves as mistaken as opposed to willfully cruel. Regardless of intentions, what they did … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I never meant to hurt you.””