My ex-wife cheated on me and chose divorce over repenting from her sins. That is how my first marriage ended. I was looking at some old papers recently that chronicled my ecclesiastical trial and aftermath. One thing that stuck out to me was this assumption that “no one is completely innocent” in a divorce. Such … Continue reading “At peace finally saying, “I did not cause my divorce.””
Category: Cheating
Do you really need to stay connected on Social Media?
Do you really need to stay connected with them on Social Media? One of the important steps I took towards healing from my divorce was to disconnect my Social Media accounts from my ex-wife’s. It was a hard but necessary step. The temptation is to keep on looking at their posts, and that just leads … Continue reading “Do you really need to stay connected on Social Media?”
Symptom? Sure, of a wicked heart!
21 “For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” -Mark 7:21-23, NIV A typical response from some folks about cheating is treating as a symptom of marriage problems. That … Continue reading “Symptom? Sure, of a wicked heart!”
Therapist missing the mark
Even a child is known by his doings, Whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. -Proverbs 20:11, KJV We, faithful spouses, have a tendency to put up with terrible “help.” I know I did. A Cheater could confess to an emotional affair with a therapist or pastor present, and then we would … Continue reading “Therapist missing the mark”
“Agreed, you didn’t file the papers.”
“Agreed, you didn’t file the [divorce] papers.” -Church Official After I had successfully defended my ministerial license with my now former denomination, I was forced to undergo a year of pastoral “care.” The official in charge of this year–knowing the awful details of my divorce–made a version of the above statement. If you did not … Continue reading ““Agreed, you didn’t file the papers.””
Cheaters as provokers. Don’t give them the satisfaction.
A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls. -Proverbs 25:28, NLT For God will never give you the spirit of fear, but the Holy Spirit who gives you mighty power, love, and self-control. -2 Timothy 1:7, TPT Some cheaters thrive off of provoking the faithful spouse to anger. I believe this. It … Continue reading “Cheaters as provokers. Don’t give them the satisfaction.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you” Cheater Line
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” says tearful Cheater. Notice what is missing in such a statement from a Cheater: -No mention of what they did being wrong. -No hint that they would not do it, again. -No remorse for your pain. They are trying to manage their own conscience and protect their image with … Continue reading ““I didn’t mean to hurt you” Cheater Line”
Cheaters deeply invested in their own narrative
Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. -Proverbs 18:2, NIV Cheaters have a vested interest in having your agreement to their marriage ending narrative. If they have anything left of a conscience, they hope to alleviate the internal pain by getting your agreement to their narrative. Of course, this … Continue reading “Cheaters deeply invested in their own narrative”
PSA: Get Tested, Please!
When I was going through my divorce after discovering infidelity, I went to the doctor’s office to get tested for Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). It was the wise thing to do. That was a hard doctor’s visit. Thankfully, my results came back negative. But it was necessary for peace of mind following such nasty deception. … Continue reading “PSA: Get Tested, Please!”
Cheater-Speak: “I was afraid you would get angry…”
“I was afraid you would get angry. That is why I did not tell you [I was cheating on you].” -Cheater Isn’t it amazing how a Cheater can make their lying your fault? Now, we know their lies are their lies. However, Cheaters are adept at shifting blame. In this mind trick: The speaker is blaming their … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I was afraid you would get angry…””