“‘Now go and attack Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and do not spare them. But kill both man and woman, infant and nursing child, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.’” …. Then Samuel went to Saul, and Saul said to him, “Blessed are you of the Lord! I have performed the commandment … Continue reading “Confident lies are disorienting.”
Category: Demons and Spiritual Warfare
Dating again? Pro-tip: Find a bad liar.
Dating again? My recommendation is to find someone who is not very good at lying. Put in more positive framing: Find a transparent and honest person. My ex-wife was very good at lying. I suspect many can relate to this statement who come here as well. Was your cheater an accomplished liar, too? Some cheaters … Continue reading “Dating again? Pro-tip: Find a bad liar.”
Dear Divorce Minister, How do I silence that toxic voice in my head?
Hi there, While I am nowhere near ready to begin dating again, I have been meeting new people and making new friends and I occasionally run into women who I find interesting or attractive in one way or another who I sorta mentally file away for later, when I feel ready. Unfortunately, a lot of … Continue reading “Dear Divorce Minister, How do I silence that toxic voice in my head?”
Peace with the Lord
The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe. -Proverbs 29:25, KJV Evicting the voices and judgments of others in our heads is a hard thing to do. This is doubly so when the person who spoke destructive things about us was someone whom we … Continue reading “Peace with the Lord”
Stop blaming yourself, faithful spouse!
“For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery….” -Mark 7:21-22a, NLT When infidelity and abandonment via divorce occur, the faithful spouse may struggle with blaming themselves. I know I did. It is part of the grief process. We are trying to control the uncontrollable. That means we take … Continue reading “Stop blaming yourself, faithful spouse!”
Subtle blame in churches
The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. Ezekiel 18:20a, NIV Sometimes church leaders subtly blame faithful spouses for a divorce from a cheater. I say that it is subtle because it almost … Continue reading “Subtle blame in churches”
Why the book?
When I went through my divorce and the ecclesiastical trial to keep my license as a minister, I wished I had a pastor sharing the messages I shared in my book. I had some wonderful friends. (Some are pastors.) These true friends were helpful in my processing my losses and navigating those times. However, the … Continue reading “Why the book?”
Cheater-speak: “I feel God wants me to hold our marriage like Abraham did Isaac.”
2 And he said, “Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.” Genesis 22:2, KJV Cheaters are engaging in self-deception when they decide God is calling … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “I feel God wants me to hold our marriage like Abraham did Isaac.””
A cheater version of “honesty”
“Well, I have learned that I have to be open and honest. You never … (fill-in the cheater’s pet accusation of faithful spouse).” Cheater to pastor/couple’s counselor Does this ring a bell for anyone? If it does, I submit it does as it is part of the demonic playbook to destroy faithful spouses. To be clear, I am … Continue reading “A cheater version of “honesty””
A Partnership Parable
Sometimes it is easier to understand basic morality if we frame a situation differently. We are creatures who are easily caught by our own self-justifications and own excuses. Here’s a modern day parable: John and Robert are life-long friends. Their friendship started in grade school when Robert stood up to another kid trying to take … Continue reading “A Partnership Parable”