Category: Emotional Affair

Fitness Assessment is NOT Pastoral Care

When my trial to retain my minister’s license ended, I was given a year of “pastoral care” as part of my clearance with my (now former) denomination. The local denominational official in charge of executing this year of “pastoral care” decided it meant the year would conclude with a vote on my fitness–more or less–to … Continue reading “Fitness Assessment is NOT Pastoral Care”

Another Oldie But Goodie Song on Self-Respect

It’s a problem not unique to us. We are not the first people who are tempted to give up our self-respect in an attempt to keep the lying cheater. The following song at the bottom of this post is from a 1960s song about having some self-respect as a man walking away from an lying … Continue reading “Another Oldie But Goodie Song on Self-Respect”

Stuck. Cheater. Stuck.

Sometimes dealing with a cheater is like dealing with an immature teenager. They behave as if a marriage is like dumping a boyfriend or girlfriend. The depths of the betrayal they just committed do not seem to register for them. Worse yet, these immature boy-childs or little-girls seek conversations with their victims about “what went … Continue reading “Stuck. Cheater. Stuck.”

They probably are…

When I was going through my divorce–prior to discovering the adultery partner–my divorce lawyer suggested my ex and her family had tried to exploit my vulnerability. The details do not really matter. Her point was that my ex and her cohorts were likely up to no good. Fair was not their priority. I did not … Continue reading “They probably are…”

Another Good Song – “Babe” by Sugarland (featuring Taylor Swift)

I admire those faithful spouses who were able to enforce their boundaries with “just” one revelation of infidelity. These rare souls know they deserve to be treated better. And they have no problems enforcing their “deal-breakers” as in “you cheat on me, and we are over, period.” And for those who come here that are … Continue reading “Another Good Song – “Babe” by Sugarland (featuring Taylor Swift)”

Do it “FOR THE KIDS!”

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Adulterous spouses have no shame. On one hand, they will willfully and maliciously disregard how their selfish sinful choices impact their children. Then, on the other hand, they will … Continue reading “Do it “FOR THE KIDS!””

Cheaters, Churches, and Christianity

I can hardly believe the report about the sexual immorality going on among you—something that even pagans don’t do. I am told that a man in your church is living in sin with his stepmother.  You are so proud of yourselves, but you should be mourning in sorrow and shame. And you should remove this man … Continue reading “Cheaters, Churches, and Christianity”

Cheater-Speak: “I just want to talk” Trojan Horse

“He wouldn’t talk to me about the REAL issues.” -Cheater “We never talked. She would nag but never discuss things with me.” -Cheater This was a favorite Trojan Horse of my now ex-wife. It was employed with “Christian” counselors, “friends,” and family as our marriage headed to its ultimate demise. Clearly, hiding behind the alleged … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I just want to talk” Trojan Horse”

Cheaters and Money Power

But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers. -I Timothy 5:8, NLT I remember the panic I felt when my cheater used her financial strength as a weapon against me. She was the one with the decent job … Continue reading “Cheaters and Money Power”