The destructive case of the “what if’s”

“What if what the cheater is saying about me is true?!” -frets the faithful spouse This is a destructive “What if?” Faithful spouses stuck in this “What if?” are in real danger of spiritual and emotional destruction. They are allowing the daggers of cheater lies dig deeper into their heart. My encouragement is to remember … Continue reading “The destructive case of the “what if’s””

Faithful spouses, you are awesome!

After months, years, or even decades of emotional beat-downs, faithful spouses often struggle in knowing their incredible worth. We discount our gifts, abilities, and precious status in God’s eyes. Faithful spouses, you are an incredible bunch! The stories I hear and the people I have met through this ministry confirms this fact to me. I … Continue reading “Faithful spouses, you are awesome!”

Practical advice for healing and finding peace

“…and the truth shall make you free.” -John 8:32b, KJV Two Practical Strategies for Peace* When I was recovering from my divorce from my cheater, two particular strategies helped me the most. 1. Identify the “handles,” “triggers,” or otherwise unwanted labels/identities that you vehemently are trying to avoid. An effective manipulator is able to hone … Continue reading “Practical advice for healing and finding peace”

Why hast Thou forsaken me?

“My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” -Matthew 27:46b, KJV When I was struggling the most, these words from Jesus brought me the greatest comfort. They were reminders to me that God understood the pain and suffering that I was enduring. He could relate. Jesus understands what it meant to suffer unjustly. Jesus understands … Continue reading “Why hast Thou forsaken me?”

Telling the story

Telling the story of what happened is important if we want to change how people treat faithful spouses. The larger narrative starts to change when people learn that their friend, colleague, or even family member was mistreated by a cheater. It changes because they are emotionally invested in you and your hurts matter to them. … Continue reading “Telling the story”

You need someone to take care of you?!

“You will drink from the brook, and I have directed the ravens to supply you with food there.” -I Kings 17:4, NIV Do you need someone to take care of you?! This accusation was aimed to shame. It was aimed to suggest the person hearing it was less than an adult. But it missed the … Continue reading “You need someone to take care of you?!”

Once seen and experienced…

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. -I Corinthians 13:11, NKJV I was dangerously naive in my first marriage. This was very apparent to me as I entered through the valley … Continue reading “Once seen and experienced…”