“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony.’” -Luke 16:25, NIV “But they’re prospering! How is that just?!” -Faithful Spouse I am not immune to the feelings of frustration over my cheater’s apparent … Continue reading “But they’re prospering!”
Category: Forgiveness
Privilege says, “Move on!”
“You need to move on,” says the Privileged. When something as traumatic as a surviving the adultery and divorce from a cheater happens, you are forever marked. Over time, I have found the scars fade. However, they will always be there. People pushing for one to “move on” are pushing denial of these scars. It … Continue reading “Privilege says, “Move on!””
Link to Sermon: Bildad or Barnabas?
Yesterday, I was the pulpit supply at a local church I call home, Destiny Church Rochester (MN). The theme of my sermon was how to be an effective encourager. I drew on passages from Job and Acts touching on difficult subjects of grief and forgiveness along the way. A key quote from my sermon: An … Continue reading “Link to Sermon: Bildad or Barnabas?”
Why are you exhorting the faithful spouse to forgive?
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. -Romans 12:15, NKJV What astounds me about some Christians is how they believe they are helping faithful spouses by telling them that they must forgive their cheater. Most of us–faithful spouses–already understand forgiving our cheater is on the docket of things to do in … Continue reading “Why are you exhorting the faithful spouse to forgive?”
“Have you forgiven [Cheater]?”
![“Have you forgiven [Cheater]?”](https://i0.wp.com/www.divorceminister.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/wp-1643146116519.jpg?fit=1200%2C534&ssl=1)
“Have you forgiven your ex-wife?” -Inquiring Christian Let’s assume this person has not already passed judgment and condemned you as “bitter.” In other words, they are asking this question in good faith and out of genuine love for you. My response would be: What do you mean by “forgiven?” The answer to this question will … Continue reading ““Have you forgiven [Cheater]?””
Cannot be undone
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV When a spouse decides to commit adultery, the marriage is forever changed. What is done cannot be undone. I believe the natural state of such marriages is one of death. … Continue reading “Cannot be undone”
Cheap Cheater forgiveness teaching addressed
Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV “God forgives me. So what’s your problem?!” -Cheater Does … Continue reading “Cheap Cheater forgiveness teaching addressed”
So hard
Do I believe a marriage can come back after a spouse cheats? To answer this question, I think you have to answer another prior question. That question is a question about God working miracles today. I DO believe God still works miracles today; so, I do believe God can resurrect a marriage killed by infidelity. … Continue reading “So hard”
Cheater concern about you never “getting over it.”
“If we stayed married, you’d always hold this over my head,” says Cheater. Cheater Concern About You Never “Getting Over It” What I find interesting about this response is how the Cheater shows he or she understands the infidelity has forever impacted the marriage. They understand that they cannot go back to how things were. … Continue reading “Cheater concern about you never “getting over it.””
Preying on your desperation
After discovering infidelity, I bet many of us went into overdrive to figure out how to “save” our marriages. It is the rare faithful spouse who refuses to demean themselves further by chasing after the cheater (and the marriage) immediately. Especially, as a Christian, I think it is rare to level consequences at the start … Continue reading “Preying on your desperation”