I do not remember precisely where I read or heard the term “theft of reality.” Most likely, I came upon it through Chump Lady or one of the many books I have read on spiritual abuse. “Theft of reality” is a term used to describe how we–faithful spouses–experience a marital narrative with serious truth–and thereby … Continue reading “Complications from “theft of reality””
Category: Forgiveness
On “Root of Bitterness”
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. -Hebrews 12:15, NIV In order to avoid the discomfort of facing injustice and naming it as such, some Christians turn on faithful spouses calling them “bitter.” They are too … Continue reading “On “Root of Bitterness””
God looks upon the heart – Parable of Unforgiving Servant
32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ -Matthew 18:32-33, NLT A big struggle with us, faithful spouse, surrounds the topic of forgiveness. … Continue reading “God looks upon the heart – Parable of Unforgiving Servant”
Calculating power dynamics
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. -I Corinthians 13:4-5, NIV “You would just hold this over my head for the rest of our marriage if I stayed,” … Continue reading “Calculating power dynamics”
God forgives THOSE WHO REPENT!
When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened. – Jonah 3:10, NIV To advert absolute destruction by God, the Ninevites repented and God mercifully relented from carrying out His judgment upon them. This is the clear pattern of … Continue reading “God forgives THOSE WHO REPENT!”
Obscuring religious language
“I only say this because I love you…” -Cheater-Apologist “For your own good, I hope you have forgiven them.” -Concerned Christian I cannot stand people who use the name of Christ to manipulate other Christians. This is the result of my experiences around the dissolution of my first marriage. I sadly encountered many “Christians” professing … Continue reading “Obscuring religious language”
“But you would hold that over my head forever,” says Cheater.
“I would forgive anything including cheating,” says Faithful Spouse. “But you would just hold that over me forever,” replies Cheater. Because the church has taught a distorted version of forgiveness, Cheaters feel entitled to forgiveness. They assume a Christian spouse will have to forgive them. The church has failed to teach the place of repentance when … Continue reading ““But you would hold that over my head forever,” says Cheater.”
Why support is so thin for faithful spouses–aka adultery victims
“It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering.” … Continue reading “Why support is so thin for faithful spouses–aka adultery victims”
Outsider “forgiveness concern” vs “repentance concern”
…and if you see him going the wrong direction, cry out and correct him. If there is true repentance on his part, forgive him. -Luke 17:3, TPT I wonder if you have experienced versions of these questions or statements. (They usually come from well-meaning–but emotionally and biblically tone-deaf–Christians): “So, have you forgiven her?” “Where are … Continue reading “Outsider “forgiveness concern” vs “repentance concern””
3 Things Pastors and Church Leaders Need To Know About Adultery
-3 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ADULTERY- 1. ADULTERY IS SOUL RAPE! The Bible is clear about the principle about how a married couple is no longer two individuals in a spiritual sense but are actually one (see Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:6, I Corinthians 6:15-18, etc). Following from this oneness principle of marriage, any … Continue reading “3 Things Pastors and Church Leaders Need To Know About Adultery”