Dear Divorce Minister, My ex-husband, who has been having an affair for two years, tells me that he has prayed to God and everything is ok between him and God. He continues to go to Church each Sunday with our daughter (nobody there knows he has been committing adultery and I go to a … Continue reading “So is my ex correct in saying that God forgives him, so it is all ok”
Category: Forgiveness
You Don’t Have To Agree
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God,so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly … Continue reading “You Don’t Have To Agree”
True Reconciliation
“True reconciliation exposes the awfulness, the abuse, the hurt, the truth. It could even sometimes make things worse. It is a risky undertaking but in the end it is worthwhile, because in the end only an honest confrontation with reality can bring real healing. Superficial reconciliation can bring only superficial healing.” -Desmond Tutu Today’s quote … Continue reading “True Reconciliation”
No Friendship With Darkness
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? -2 Cor. 6:14, NIV I never understood the push to become friends with one’s ex-spouse following the adulterous end of a marriage. While I get how one might become friends after the adulterous … Continue reading “No Friendship With Darkness”
My Focus Is Souls and Holiness
While I dearly hope some of the tough love counsel I share here saves marriages, I do not see that as my job or calling. I am a pastor, and my calling is to feed the sheep. I am called to soul care. Marriages will not exist in the Heaven (Mt 22:30). But souls will. … Continue reading “My Focus Is Souls and Holiness”
Not A Submission Or Leadership Failure
“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” –Ephesians 5:23-24, NIV If you have spent anytime in an evangelical church of any sort, you likely have heard these verses read … Continue reading “Not A Submission Or Leadership Failure”
A Survey Alert From Chump Lady
Today, Chump Lady passed along a survey that an eager graduate student in psychology is doing on infidelity. Here is the link to Chump Lady’s post: http://chumplady.com/2014/07/forgiveness-troll-says-take-a-survey/ Below I am quoting from Chump Lady’s post where she agrees to take the survey and post it to her readership: Then when I finished the survey, I … Continue reading “A Survey Alert From Chump Lady”
You Never Really “Get Over It”
All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “No,” he said, “I will continue to mourn until I join my son in the grave.” So his father wept for him. – Genesis 37:35, NIV Perhaps, I have grief on my mind today as I did a funeral and graveside service this … Continue reading “You Never Really “Get Over It””
Lock the Doors, Grieve the Death
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.” -Psalm 34:18, NASB Metaphors, while being imperfect approximations, often can help us grasp difficult and complex truths conveying both intellectual and emotional freight with vivid imagery. Here’s my shot on explaining by metaphor why focusing on forgiveness first after adultery is cruel: Imagine you … Continue reading “Lock the Doors, Grieve the Death”
Grief and Forgiveness
“My soul refused to be comforted.” – Psalm 77:2b (NASB). “‘For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.’” – Jesus (Matthew 6:14-15, NASB). I suspect that most Christian survivors of adultery have been told that they have to … Continue reading “Grief and Forgiveness”