He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.- -Isaiah 53:3, NIV The divorce discard is painful. Some cheaters cling to their marriage, and other cheaters complete the rejection by filing for divorce. … Continue reading “Divorce discard pain”
Category: Grief
Accepting Reality & Disagreement
Your Cheater may never acknowledge what they did to you was wrong. They may contest the divorce story to the end of their lives. Part of healing is accepting this as a loss and moving forward in the truth. Yes, it is an injustice. Still, to heal, we sometimes have to name it as such … Continue reading “Accepting Reality & Disagreement”
“For the kids” Really?!
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Adulterous spouses have no shame. On one hand, they will willfully and maliciously disregard how their selfish sinful choices impact their children. Then, on the other hand, they will … Continue reading ““For the kids” Really?!”
Their “Flying Monkeys”
When people discuss narcissists, they sometimes use the phrase ‘flying monkeys.’ Flying monkeys refer to people who carry out the work of a narcissist or an abusive person, and it comes from The Wizard of Oz, in which the Wicked Witch of the West puts flying monkeys under her spell. -Taken from “What the Term … Continue reading “Their “Flying Monkeys””
That old bitter card
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. – Hebrews 12:14-15, NIV I am suspicious of … Continue reading “That old bitter card”
Excellent Teaching on Lament by Michael Card
So often the church has lost sight of how important lament is. God wants our honesty. And sometimes all we can give God is our tears and protests of pain. The following series of YouTube videos linked below lay out a teaching by the Christian musician, Michael Card, on the topic of lament. It blessed … Continue reading “Excellent Teaching on Lament by Michael Card”
Cheated On Support Group Coming!!!
Cheated On Support Group Starting Tuesday, May 7th! At Destiny Church, Rochester, MN I have decided that it is time to launch an in-person support group for faithful spouses and their supporters. This support group will start in Rochester (MN), and I will see what response I find from folks. If it goes well, I … Continue reading “Cheated On Support Group Coming!!!”
Skipping over the injustice part
Hate evil and love what is good; turn your courts into true halls of justice. Perhaps even yet the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies will have mercy on the remnant of his people. -Amos 5:15, NLT I am a firm believer that injustice must first be acknowledged before we can heal from it. This step is often skipped in … Continue reading “Skipping over the injustice part”
Not linear
Grief is not linear and is not rational. I don’t know about you, but I wish this was otherwise about grief. It would be nice to say that when you’ve gone through one task then it is done. But that is NOT how grief works. It doesn’t go through orderly phases in sequence. It isn’t … Continue reading “Not linear”
As if it was always a mutual decision!
Publicly, some Cheaters may present the divorce story as if it was always a mutual decision based on unfortunate circumstances. They HATE when an uppity faithful spouse spills the beans, though, about their cheating. That is NOT what they want others knowing. The last thing they want is accountability or consequences for their cheating. Now, … Continue reading “As if it was always a mutual decision!”