Happy Father’s Day!!! Years ago, I felt this day acutely. My divorce had gone through, and I felt the death of dreams. We had no children. Then that changed when I met Mrs. DM and Munchkin. I became a husband and father all at once. It remains one of the best decisions of my life. … Continue reading “To my faithful spouse dads, Happy Father’s Day!!!”
Category: Grief
Forgiveness is NOT a lobotomy!
Forgiveness is NOT a lobotomy! When we forgive, we do not forget. The experiences we have had stay with us–especially the hard ones. Few things are harder than discovering your spouse cheated on you! I am sure I will carry the technicolor memory of my ex-wife quasi-confessing her cheating on Thanksgiving Eve 2012 for the … Continue reading “Forgiveness is NOT a lobotomy!”
“Bitter” used to discredit and dismiss
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. See that no one is sexually immoral…. -Hebrews 12:15-16a, NIV I am troubled. What bothers me is how the word “bitter” is used to discredit and silence victims of adultery. … Continue reading ““Bitter” used to discredit and dismiss”
Divorce discard pain
He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.- -Isaiah 53:3, NIV The divorce discard is painful. Some cheaters cling to their marriage, and other cheaters complete the rejection by filing for divorce. … Continue reading “Divorce discard pain”
Accepting Reality & Disagreement
Your Cheater may never acknowledge what they did to you was wrong. They may contest the divorce story to the end of their lives. Part of healing is accepting this as a loss and moving forward in the truth. Yes, it is an injustice. Still, to heal, we sometimes have to name it as such … Continue reading “Accepting Reality & Disagreement”
“For the kids” Really?!
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Adulterous spouses have no shame. On one hand, they will willfully and maliciously disregard how their selfish sinful choices impact their children. Then, on the other hand, they will … Continue reading ““For the kids” Really?!”
Their “Flying Monkeys”
When people discuss narcissists, they sometimes use the phrase ‘flying monkeys.’ Flying monkeys refer to people who carry out the work of a narcissist or an abusive person, and it comes from The Wizard of Oz, in which the Wicked Witch of the West puts flying monkeys under her spell. -Taken from “What the Term … Continue reading “Their “Flying Monkeys””
That old bitter card
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. – Hebrews 12:14-15, NIV I am suspicious of … Continue reading “That old bitter card”
Excellent Teaching on Lament by Michael Card
So often the church has lost sight of how important lament is. God wants our honesty. And sometimes all we can give God is our tears and protests of pain. The following series of YouTube videos linked below lay out a teaching by the Christian musician, Michael Card, on the topic of lament. It blessed … Continue reading “Excellent Teaching on Lament by Michael Card”
Cheated On Support Group Coming!!!
Cheated On Support Group Starting Tuesday, May 7th! At Destiny Church, Rochester, MN I have decided that it is time to launch an in-person support group for faithful spouses and their supporters. This support group will start in Rochester (MN), and I will see what response I find from folks. If it goes well, I … Continue reading “Cheated On Support Group Coming!!!”