But Jesus said, “Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?” -Luke 22:48, NLT Some “friends” will “kiss” you with words-bespeaking of their love for you-while they further the cheater’s agenda of blame-shifting the infidelity and divorce upon you. It is confusing enough dealing with the lies and deceptions of a cheater. … Continue reading “Regarding those Deadwood “friends””
Category: Grief
Divorce and those narrative gaps
When we divorce our cheater, faithful spouses often do not know the full story (and probably won’t ever). This is one of the traumatic aspects of marrying a cheater. They have all the knowledge of who and when they slept with someone else. But they are unwilling to give that to information to their spouse. … Continue reading “Divorce and those narrative gaps”
Caring for self
When I was going through the deep valley of separation, adultery discovery, and divorce, I had to make conscience decisions to take care of myself. The grief is that extreme. For me, I had to remind myself to eat. If I did not do this, then I would not have eaten at all during that … Continue reading “Caring for self”
A decade of divorce
Today marks the ten year anniversary of my divorce. Looking back today, I am so grateful for the mercy of divorce. It cleared the way for the best things in my life today–namely, Mrs. DM, Munchkin, and my bird buddies. I have such a rich life today, which is only possible because I am no … Continue reading “A decade of divorce”
A good distraction
When I was heading for my divorce and then recovering from it, I had some wonderful friends who helped distract me from the pain. It was a gift. I hope you have a true friend or two who does that for you as well. Sometimes, we need a break from the grief work. That is … Continue reading “A good distraction”
Complex feelings
Yesterday, I received some disappointing news regarding a management job I interviewed to get. I did not get the job. I would be lying to say I did not feel sad, angry, and disappointed about this. Yet I also feel relief and hope that, perhaps, God is directing even this disappointment for my good (see … Continue reading “Complex feelings”
Friends post adultery revelation
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. -Proverbs 17:7, NLT A blessing in disguise with cheating revelation is how that awful news exposes ones true friends verses erstwhile “friends.” I am SOOOO grateful for the many friends who passed that fire-test. These are people who stood … Continue reading “Friends post adultery revelation”
Dumb Stuff “Christians” Say Regarding Cheating Situations
Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues. -Proverbs 17:28 More Christians could learn from that fool from Proverbs 17:28 who held his tongue when it comes to marriages ravaged by adultery. Sadly, the advice (and condemnation) come all too freely for faithful spouses. Here a few … Continue reading “Dumb Stuff “Christians” Say Regarding Cheating Situations”
Weirdness of grief
Grief is weird. It shows up on its own schedule. Sometimes, it blindsides you out of nowhere. Yesterday, I was driving through the campus of my old college where I had met my ex-wife. Suddenly, the wave of memories from my life there hit me. I cannot say what was specifically triggering the tears. But … Continue reading “Weirdness of grief”
I sold the bedroom furniture.
“… Steve ‘sterilized’ his house, repainting inside and out, laying new carpets, hanging new pictures on the walls and buying new furniture. Others have burned photographs, thrown away clothes, and smashed personal belongings.” -Michael Fox, Ph.D., The Emotional Rape Syndrome, pp 22. I sold the bedroom furniture. Before I moved halfway across the country, I decided … Continue reading “I sold the bedroom furniture.”