So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT One of the biggest tragedies is the utter waste Cheaters create through their dastardly discard of us, faithful spouses. Just when we might be able to taste the fruit of sacrifice, Cheaters pull out the rug … Continue reading “Tragedy and Gratitude”
Category: Grief
He is a Good Father!
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine… -Ephesians 3:20a, NIV God has solutions that we cannot imagine. They are good solutions as He is a good God. What happens might not be what we originally wanted, but God is good and will see you through. I … Continue reading “He is a Good Father!”
Not a tear wasted
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. -Psalm 56:8, NLT Not a tear wasted. God is tender towards those He loves. And He loves you, dear Faithful Spouse. Not only does He see each tear, He draws close … Continue reading “Not a tear wasted”
Temptation to write off all…
When the infidelity betrayal is fresh, a temptation exists to write off an entire gender. I think this is very common for faithful spouses. I think it is part of the grief process. We feel vulnerable and betrayed. The trauma of it all makes us want to avoid putting ourselves in a place where … Continue reading “Temptation to write off all…”
Anger leftovers
“Anger has something to tell us; it’s sometimes the gift that alerts us of wrong in the world.” -Susannah Griffith in Forgiveness After Trauma: A Path to Find Healing and Empowerment, Brazos Press, Grand Rapids, MI, 2024 (pp 71). I am currently reading this book on the topic of forgiveness and trauma. Thus far, it is … Continue reading “Anger leftovers”
It’s ok to miss them.
It’s okay to miss them. I think of all the losses that come with dealing with infidelity. You lose more relationships than just your relationship with the Cheater. The family and friends loss are big losses as well. Now, I understand that many of these people reveal themselves to not be true friends. Yet, many … Continue reading “It’s ok to miss them.”
Grief and 9-11
My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God? -Psalm 42:3, KJV Today is September 11th. I will never forget what happened twenty-three years ago on this day while I was a freshman in college. The world changed that day. Two towers were taken down. … Continue reading “Grief and 9-11”
Disturbing Dream
This morning I awoke from an unusual dream for me. In my dream, I saw my ex and her family. This triggered panic in my heart–i.e. my fight or flight response. Now, I haven’t seen these people for over a decade. Yet the mere invoking of their image in a dream STILL has the power … Continue reading “Disturbing Dream”
Stop reading the tea leaves!
Stop reading the tea leaves! I was guilty of this. Every small signal of kindness or basic civility I took to mean that my marriage might survive. It was a lie, though. I was deceiving myself. This is where having good friends is key. These friends can speak the hard but necessary truth about your … Continue reading “Stop reading the tea leaves!”
Give up trying to control
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. -Psalm 139:23-24, KJV A natural temptation is to focus on controlling or directing the cheater’s behavior. Please do your best to resist this temptation! … Continue reading “Give up trying to control”