“Yes, we are divorced. But we’re friends. I understand I made mistakes, too, in our marriage.” – “Model” Divorcee If you do get divorced, I sense this is what people–maybe Christians especially–want to hear. They want a nice narrative where they do not have to pick sides. Maybe some divorcees can become friends with each other after the … Continue reading “On Being “The Model Divorced””
Category: Reconciliation
Just because they say so…
Public Service Announcement: Just because a cheater says so… …does not make it so! Remember that you are hearing words coming from a proven liar. That is what all cheaters are: proven liars. When they say things about you and your marriage, you have to discount that with this fact about their deficient character. They … Continue reading “Just because they say so…”
Pro-Tip: Faithful spouses need condemnation free spaces, pastors!
Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us…. -Romans 8:33-34a, NLT What faithful spouses need more than spiritual advice are people willing to listen to them without condemnation. Faithful spouses are recovering … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Faithful spouses need condemnation free spaces, pastors!”
Temptation of the fantasy “reconciliation”
I can distinctly remember driving down a major highway back home wishing the pain to end. Part of me knew there was no going back to how things “were.” I still missed the fantasy, though. The ending of my marriage came with tremendous losses; this I knew in the deepest of places. I just wanted … Continue reading “Temptation of the fantasy “reconciliation””
Reading cheater tea leaves
When I was going through the darkest part of my marriage dying, I really did not want the divorce. (As a side note, I am so grateful today that I was freed by that divorce. God has used Mrs. DM and Munchkin to restore the laughter in the halls of my heart.) A temptation I … Continue reading “Reading cheater tea leaves”
Dating mate nonsense!
Excuses might be found for a thief who steals because he is starving. But if he is caught, he must pay back seven times what he stole, even if he has to sell everything in his house. -Proverbs 6:30-31, NLT Dating your spouse. I know that I am about to sacrifice a holy cow of … Continue reading “Dating mate nonsense!”
Next step? Shake off their dust!
And whosoever will not receive you, when ye go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet for a testimony against them. -Luke 9:5, KJV Jesus gave us a ministry of reconciliation (see 2 Corinthians 5:18), yet Jesus told His Disciples to move on if this ministry was rejected! Cheaters reject godly reconciliation … Continue reading “Next step? Shake off their dust!”
Faithful Spouse, fixing this does not fix this!
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God… -Romans 3:23, KJV While it is wise and admirable to work on one’s own sins, issues, and shortcomings, I believe it is important to be clear about one thing: Faithful Spouse, “fixing” yourself cannot fix your adultery-ravaged marriage. Despite what “Christian” books and … Continue reading “Faithful Spouse, fixing this does not fix this!”
We all know it is quicksand…let’s address it then!
But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. -Matthew 7:26, NLT We all know it is a sandy foundation. This is the truth of trying to rebuild a marriage with the infidelity left unaddressed or treated as a “minor” problem. The marriage … Continue reading “We all know it is quicksand…let’s address it then!”
Cheater’s “Grace” as “Cheap Grace”
…cheap grace — “the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance.” Cheap grace wrongly separates absolution of sin from acknowledgment of that sin. -Katelyn Beaty, “The Mistake Christians Made in Defending Bill O’Reilly Cheaters and “cheap grace” Beaty’s article takes aim at some prominent conservatives and evangelical leaders. In particular, her article exposes the hypocrisy of … Continue reading “Cheater’s “Grace” as “Cheap Grace””