A cheater does not need to be a total monster in order to be bad for you. I suspect most cheaters (if not all) have some “redeeming” qualities about themselves. If they didn’t, we probably never would have married them in the first place. They are mix–like all of us–of good and bad traits. But … Continue reading “Still… bad enough”
Category: Sin
“There but for the grace of God go I” Response
“I see these church leaders fall, and I say to myself, ‘There but for the grace of God go I,’” says Pastor talking about Clergy Sexual Abuse situations. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or … Continue reading ““There but for the grace of God go I” Response”
Old Emails
“If someone ventures a word with you, will you be impatient? But who can keep from speaking?” -Job 4:2, NIV Recently, I was doing a search in my email account, and it popped up with results from when I was dealing with my (now) ex-wife. Like Eliphaz to Job here, I had two emails that … Continue reading “Old Emails”
“Remain Teachable” Spiritual Abuse
Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart. -Psalm 119:69, NIV “Remember, you need to stay teachable,” says arrogant authority figure. In my experience, religious authorities employ the “unteachable” label as a weapon to dismiss people who resist their control. This is spiritual abuse, by the way. … Continue reading ““Remain Teachable” Spiritual Abuse”
God, Forgiveness, and Justice
Trusting God with our hurts is hard. Forgiveness is about doing just that, though. It is allowing God be God in our situation. But forgiving our cheater is nearly impossible if we believe we care more about justice than God. Justice matters to God. He did not just give sin a pass. It isn’t cheap … Continue reading “God, Forgiveness, and Justice”
Allowed to have friends?
“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.” -Matthew 7:15, NLT “Aren’t I allowed to have ‘friends?!’” -Cheater I think this is one of the most dangerous tools at the disposal of cheaters. It effectively puts the faithful spouse on the defensive as he or she tries to … Continue reading “Allowed to have friends?”
Religious-y “Both Sides” Advice
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight! -Isaiah 5:21, NKJV The practice of some pastors is to treat adultery on the same level as failure to do one’s share of the household chores: They are not the same! Faithful spouses are already primed to take on more responsibility … Continue reading “Religious-y “Both Sides” Advice”
Fruit, Not Professions!
“15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16 Ye shall know them by th eir fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.” -Jesus in Matthew … Continue reading “Fruit, Not Professions!”
Ministry of Reconciliation?
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…. – 2 Corinthians 5:18, NIV Do we not all have the ministry of reconciliation as followers of Christ? Does that include reconciling with Cheaters? The obvious answer to the first question is “Yes, we are called … Continue reading “Ministry of Reconciliation?”
Predictably Incomplete
With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet. -Acts 5:2, NIV Cheaters predictably provide incomplete confessions. This is a major reason why it is so had for faithful spouses to heal as they are working with deliberately withheld information. … Continue reading “Predictably Incomplete”