Obscuring religious language

“I only say this because I love you…” -Cheater-Apologist “For your own good, I hope you have forgiven them.” -Concerned Christian I cannot stand people who use the name of Christ to manipulate other Christians. This is the result of my experiences around the dissolution of my first marriage. I sadly encountered many “Christians” professing … Continue reading “Obscuring religious language”

On “godly sorrow”

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. – 2 Cor. 7:10, NIV When you see the fruit of advice destroying someone or yourself, you are seeing something bringing death as this verse tells us. This is not from God. God is not one who came … Continue reading “On “godly sorrow””

Wanting to rehash the marriage

Some cheaters will come back around and attempt to reconnect with their faithful partner after the divorce. They may want to rehash what happened in the marriage. This is just a recipe for abuse for the faithful partner. Do NOT take the bait! A repentant cheater would put action to their sorry. They wouldn’t try … Continue reading “Wanting to rehash the marriage”

Cheater-Speak: “I can’t pretend anymore.”

“I can’t pretend anymore,” says Cheater. The irony of this statement is almost funny if it was not so tragic and painful. A cheater saying such a thing is just spouting a lie. They do not have a problem with pretending: Cheating requires pretending one is not married, after all. The whole point of a … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I can’t pretend anymore.””

Failures in counseling

You, however, smear me with lies;     you are worthless physicians, all of you! -Job 13:4, NIV One of the more infuriating things about looking back on my first marriage’s demise is how awful the counselors were! These were professionals who were worse than worthless. They enabled an entitlement mentality by my cheater and aided in her … Continue reading “Failures in counseling”

Willful Choosers of Evil

“You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell?” -Matthew 23:33, NIV Before my divorce, I did not truly believe in the existence of such a “brood of vipers” as Jesus calls some religious leaders. Theoretically, I understood some people were or are awful. Of course, I understood that Hitler … Continue reading “Willful Choosers of Evil”

No good out of the “what if’s”

“What if what the cheater is saying about me is true?!” -frets the faithful spouse This is a destructive “What if?” Faithful spouses stuck in this “What if?” are in real danger of spiritual and emotional destruction. They are allowing the daggers of cheater lies dig deeper into their heart. My encouragement is to remember … Continue reading “No good out of the “what if’s””

Preaching “Thou Shalt Not Divorce” as if part of Ten Commandments!

Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV A pet peeve of mine these days is hearing fellow pastors condemn divorce from the pulpit. It might come in the form of a lament of people going “the easy way.” Some might be bold enough to call out divorce as “evil.” The odd thing is they … Continue reading “Preaching “Thou Shalt Not Divorce” as if part of Ten Commandments!”