“‘If a man is found lying with a married woman, then both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman; thus you shall purge the evil from Israel.” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NASB. While much is made of God’s proclamation of hating divorce in Malachi 2:16, I fear that many pastors … Continue reading “The Buffet of Bad Options For Faithful Spouses”
Category: Theology of divorce
Some ways to help a faithful spouse
A Christian brother comes over one night. He crumples onto your couch tears overflowing. Through his heaving sobs, you learn his wife has left him and is having sex with another man. The hollow and desperate look in his eyes tears at your heart. What can you do? I will start with the negative first. These dangerous responses … Continue reading “Some ways to help a faithful spouse”
The tortuous dance to divorce of a cheater
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. -Proverbs 12:18, KJV Cheaters are often very cruel to their spouses. Besides the whole soul rape part, these characters are known to attend couples therapy or pastoral Care sessions only to beat up upon the faithful spouse emotionally. Cheating on the … Continue reading “The tortuous dance to divorce of a cheater”
Even Jesus Did Not Force Reconciliation!
“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!” -Matthew 23:37, KJV Even Jesus did not force reconciliation of His Bride! This is what this … Continue reading “Even Jesus Did Not Force Reconciliation!”
Sometimes it is not fixable.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” -Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV Sometimes the marriage is not fixable, and it comes time to focus on a new thing. A cheater who refuses to repent makes a marriage not fixable. It would be unwise to reinvest in a … Continue reading “Sometimes it is not fixable.”
We still have cemeteries.
Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned…. -Romans 5:12, NIV We still have cemeteries. In fact, I have one less than a mile from my house. It is a pretty full one at that. We still … Continue reading “We still have cemeteries.”
It is a funny thing!
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV Funny how “Christian” folk are swift to condemn divorce but slower and “nuanced” when it comes to condemning adultery. I think such is a sign of immaturity, minimally. It may even be a sign of someone not truly knowing God as God’s heart on these matters could … Continue reading “It is a funny thing!”
Most “Christian” resources I found during my difficult time…
While I am thankful for the help of some Christian resources in my dark season, I discovered most had an agenda apart from freely presenting the options. Most Christian resources–in my experience–are focused upon “saving the marriage.” This goal is pursued at the unacknowledged cost of the faithful spouse’s well-being. For these authors and pastors, … Continue reading “Most “Christian” resources I found during my difficult time…”
Hi DM, I agree, but I have heard so many Christians tell faithful spouses…
Hi DM, It is true that the cheater almost never repents when discovered, at least most of the time. But I’ve heard so many Christians tell faithful spouses that they should pray for their love ones to repent, that it is their duty to keep the marriage because it is a covenant and they can … Continue reading “Hi DM, I agree, but I have heard so many Christians tell faithful spouses…”
Cheater-Speak: “It wasn’t such a big deal!”
“Come on! It wasn’t a big deal. How you are reacting is exactly why I didn’t tell you.” -Cheater When a cheater responds this way, they are engaging in gas-lighting. Let me explain: They know whatever happened IS a big deal to you. You are clearly upset. So, they say this to cover for themselves … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “It wasn’t such a big deal!””