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I remember attending a popular Christian divorce ministry. This ministry puts a great deal of effort in “preventing” divorces and emphasizes how costly they are. Another aspect of this ministry was how they emphasized owning “your part” of the divorce. I believe this emphasis is a subtle blame shift. The subtle part is the assumption … Continue reading “All the emphasis on “owning your part””

The LORD blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. -Job 42:12a, NIV When you go through a divorce from a cheater, you start to see life differently. You cannot go through that experience and remain unmarked. That said, today’s post is about a positive out of that horrible experience. Personally, I … Continue reading “On savoring God’s gifts”

I work in hospice and have the opportunity to watch the poignant beauty of marriages that have lasted well past fifty years.* I say, “poignant” because I feel both awed by the sheer beauty of a couple still caring for each other after many decades together as well as sad by my own loss. Recently, … Continue reading “Dismembered feeling following divorce”

… and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. -Romans 5:4b-5a, NLT Sometimes, it is hard to hope. That makes sense. This is especially so in light of the devastating losses that come with divorce from a cheater. In these seasons, I find it important to remember … Continue reading “Fighting to hold onto hope!”

Yesterday, my hosting company was migrating my website to their new servers. This created a situation where I was unable to post. Sorry for that.

One day he [the serpent] asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” Genesis 3:1b, NLT Partial truth lies are the most dangerous. We see the example of this here in the story of how humans sinned and fell from grace. The … Continue reading “Partial truths are dangerous LIES!”

  “If someone says, ‘I love God,’ but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?” -I John 4:20, NLT Religious cheaters are the worst. It is bad enough dealing with a cheater. A religious cheater … Continue reading “Religious cheaters are awful!”

 She saw that I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery.  -Jeremiah 3:8a, NLT The never-divorce stance of some Christians and pastors puts faithful spouses in a very passive position. They just have to take the abuse. Something is fundamentally wrong with one’s theology when accepting (and enabling, even) sin is what is taught. One … Continue reading ““Never Divorce” Stance harms faithful spouse agency”