And my faith in him convinces me that he is more than able to keep all that I’ve placed in his hands safe and secure until the fullness of his appearing. -2 Timothy 1:12b, TPT When I was reading this chapter, this second half of verse twelve grabbed my attention. I doubt I am the … Continue reading “No longer ruled by fear”
Author: Divorce Minister
Let’s retire the phrase: “failed marriage”
Let’s retire the awful phrase: “Failed Marriage.” I find this phrase obnoxious for several reasons. In general, my objection to its use is how it communicates things that ought to have no place among God’s people. Let me explain… First, what do we mean by “failed marriage?” This implies there are successful and unsuccessful marriages. … Continue reading “Let’s retire the phrase: “failed marriage””
Stopping is NOT enough!
When a cheater stops the affair, this is not enough. They need to take further action. It is like an alcoholic who stops drinking. This is good. However, the alcoholic who is not actively dealing with their issues connected to drinking is not in recovery. A cheater who does not deal with the lies he … Continue reading “Stopping is NOT enough!”
Cheaters do not love God per Jesus’ words.
Jesus answered and said unto him, “If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.” -John 14:23, KJV Cheaters may profess love of God… …but their actions say otherwise. You see, the Christian faith place demands … Continue reading “Cheaters do not love God per Jesus’ words.”
But Christ pursued a spiritually adulterous people heresy…
True, Christ pursued a spiritually adulterous people… AND… Christ told a spiritually adulterous group of people to go to Hell (see Mt 25:41). One of the tired use of the Scripture for faithful spouses is the example of Christ pursuing the Church. The faithful spouse is shamed and browbeaten into staying married to an entitled … Continue reading “But Christ pursued a spiritually adulterous people heresy…”
On savoring God’s gifts
The LORD blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. -Job 42:12a, NIV When you go through a divorce from a cheater, you start to see life differently. You cannot go through that experience and remain unmarked. That said, today’s post is about a positive out of that horrible experience. Personally, I … Continue reading “On savoring God’s gifts”
Cheater-Speak: “I needed a break from our marriage.”
“Why did you take off your wedding ring?” asks Faithful Spouse. “I needed a break from reminders of our marriage,” says Cheater. Cheaters freely entered into the marriage–and marriage means a lifelong commitment. You do not get breaks from needing to honor this commitment. This sort of response from a Cheater seeking “a break” is … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I needed a break from our marriage.””
Pro-Tip: Cheater attendance does not mean the affair is over!
Just because a cheater has agreed to see a Christian counselor or pastor to work on the marriage does not necessarily mean the cheater has ended the affair. It boggles my mind to think a cheater would attend Christian marriage counseling with a therapist or pastor while secretly continuing to cheat. But it happens! I know … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Cheater attendance does not mean the affair is over!”
Failing to learn from Job’s friends: “The Assessment”
As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it. -Job 4:8, NIV “The Assessment” Within the evangelical culture, the belief that the faithful spouse did something “to deserve” the adulterous desertion of their partner is all too prevalent. They have not learned from this erroneous assessment by one of Job’s … Continue reading “Failing to learn from Job’s friends: “The Assessment””
Their toasted conscience
But the [Holy] Spirit explicitly and unmistakably declares that in later times some will turn away from the faith…[misled] by the hypocrisy of liars whose consciences are seared as with a branding iron [leaving them incapable of ethical functioning]…. -I Timothy 4:1a,2, AMP When a cheater is telling their spouse, pastor, and/or Christian counselor that … Continue reading “Their toasted conscience”