Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words. -Job 2:13, NLT Please do not underestimate how traumatic and disorienting discovering marital infidelity is! Speaking from my personal experience as well as from … Continue reading “Validation needs to come long before forgiveness talk”
Author: Divorce Minister
Wish I would be invited to teach seminary students on adultery and divorce
If I could write my own ticket, I would teach a seminary class on helping adultery victims and holding cheaters accountable. -Included in this class would be a primer on how divorce is not always sin as well as how divorce can be a mercy to victims of infidelity. Anger and ire ought to be … Continue reading “Wish I would be invited to teach seminary students on adultery and divorce”
Good is coming!
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. -Romans 8:28, KJV I know this verse is twisted against faithful spouses all too often. Well-meaning yet hurtful Christians quote this verse at the traumatized faithful spouse as a means … Continue reading “Good is coming!”
Assertive training not over!
When Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. -Galatians 2:11, NIV If you are like me, one of the problems I brought to my first marriage was a lack of assertiveness. The temptation to become passive and then resentful was a cycle I found too easy to feed. I rarely … Continue reading “Assertive training not over!”
Reminder: Better days ahead!
For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with brooks, streams, and deep springs gushing out into the valleys and hills…. -Deuteronomy 8:7, NIV I remember the bad days. Sometimes, it was all I could do to remind myself to eat. I lost serious weight from the trauma of it all. … Continue reading “Reminder: Better days ahead!”
PSA: Please get your own divorce lawyer!
If you are expecting someone who majored in deception to play fair during a divorce, then you are dangerously naïve. Please, get your own divorce lawyer! Cheaters are notorious for trying to set the narrative and play by their own rules, which seem to change with their moods. A divorce lawyer will force cheaters to … Continue reading “PSA: Please get your own divorce lawyer!”
“Root of bitterness” manipulation
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15, NIV In order to avoid the discomfort of facing injustice and naming it as such, some Christians turn on faithful spouses calling them “bitter.” They are too spineless to … Continue reading ““Root of bitterness” manipulation”
Denomination Accountability and Ravi Zacharias Alleged Sexual Misconduct
“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” -Matthew 18:6, NIV More and more is coming out regarding the behavior of late Christian apologist, Ravi … Continue reading “Denomination Accountability and Ravi Zacharias Alleged Sexual Misconduct”
PSA: Cheating IS abuse!!!
Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! – I Corinthians 6:15b, NLT When someone is a cheater, they are also an abuser. You cannot have one without the other. Soul rape is abusive. I am astounded by how cheating and adultery are too often treated … Continue reading “PSA: Cheating IS abuse!!!”
PSA: Divorce “jokes” by pastors are NOT funny!
Pastors, Please stop making divorce “jokes.” When faithful spouses hear pastors talking about how grateful they are that their wives haven’t left them, the pastor could not be more insensitive and tone deaf to those who have experienced abandonment. Such “joking” is teaching: -You are teaching your people divorce happens over everyday irritations in marriage. … Continue reading “PSA: Divorce “jokes” by pastors are NOT funny!”