“Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.” -John 18:37b, NIV Truth: You did not drive your spouse to cheat (and abandon you). Truth: You do not deserve to be abused, and cheating is abuse. Truth: Divorcing a cheater is not sin. Truth: Divorcing an unrepentant cheater is not dooming your kids, rather you … Continue reading “Cling to the truth.”
Author: Divorce Minister
A song to remind you of God’s love
The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing. -Zephaniah 3:17, KJV When my divorce was coming and after it was fresh, I encountered the following song by artist, Jamie Grace. It … Continue reading “A song to remind you of God’s love”
Missing my mentor and friend, Will Craig
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. -Ecclesiastes 4:11-12, NIV Sometimes, we are blessed to have mentors who become friends. I was … Continue reading “Missing my mentor and friend, Will Craig”
Like a drug
When someone feels unlovable, I believe emotional affairs hold an especial allure. The temptation is to fill a legitimate need through sinfully illegitimate ways. A cheater takes their need to feel lovable and turns to the world to make them feel worthy of romantic pursuit. This might manifest through evenings at bars where she welcomes … Continue reading “Like a drug”
Who is your Hur? Your Aaron?
Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. -Exodus 17:12b, NIV This verse comes from a story about a battle where the Israelites were winning as long as Moses kept his arms raised. Obviously, Moses’ arms got weary. When he grew tired, … Continue reading “Who is your Hur? Your Aaron?”
2 questions behind the questions
Two Questions Behind the Questions: 1. “Did you deserve the abandonment or being cheated on?” 2. “Did you learn your “lesson(s)” from being cheated on/divorced?” What a messed up world we live in where Christians are given a free pass to probe a soul rape victim with questions about what he or she has learned … Continue reading “2 questions behind the questions”
Denials of Cheaters
You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires…. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. -John 8:44a,c, NIV Ever get the denial? The cheater is caught red-handed. She knows the jig is up, but she goes ahead … Continue reading “Denials of Cheaters”
Fill my heart with joy!
So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. -Genesis 2:20, NIV From the beginning, God made us to live with creatures He placed on the earth. We were designed to be around animals, caring for them. So, it is no surprise to me that … Continue reading “Fill my heart with joy!”
Reminding self: Why would you want that back?!
Forgiveness is not the same thing as forgetting. In fact, I would suggest “forgetting” is just “denial” by another name. What helped me in both forgiving and moving on from my ex-wife was writing out what she actually did. Having this list in mind is very useful. Such a list is helpful in dealing with … Continue reading “Reminding self: Why would you want that back?!”
Yo, it’s not me. It’s you!
-When the blame-shifting starts… -When the pastor or counselor suggests you drove the cheater to it by doing… -When the cheater whines, “Why!” to the divorce… “It’s not me; it’s you.” Stop wasting your time on figuring out what you did to “deserve” this. You did not deserve it! Your action or inaction did … Continue reading “Yo, it’s not me. It’s you!”