“Do you hear yourself? That is what we call making excuses.” -Wise Pastor to Cheater Labeling matters appropriately does not only help the cheater, but it also helps their victim, the faithful spouse. Proper labels expose the deeds of the dark to light (see Ephesians 5:11). It is astounding to me how so-called Christian pastors … Continue reading ““Listen to yourself, Cheater, for a moment!””
Author: Divorce Minister
This is spiritual warfare!
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. -I Peter 5:8, NLT When talking about infidelity, many fail to state an obvious spiritual truth: This is spiritual warfare! The Devil wants to devour Christians. I personally believe he is having great … Continue reading “This is spiritual warfare!”
Sometimes the wife is the cheating abandoner
She [the adulteress] gives no thought to the way of life; her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it. -Proverbs 5:6, NIV Sometimes, the wife decides she would rather live life as a single person. What makes this especially painful for those of us left behind is how shame is compounded to this … Continue reading “Sometimes the wife is the cheating abandoner”
Grateful for another birthday!
Today is my birthday. I am now closer to 40 than I am to 30 years of age. And I am grateful to be able to say that. When I was going through my divorce, death looked like a tempting release. I am grateful for my relationship with Jesus that saw me through that dark … Continue reading “Grateful for another birthday!”
Best days ahead!
The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. -Job 42:12a, NIV A lie the Enemy wants you to believe is that your life is over following adultery discovery and divorce. He wants you fearful that all that is left for you is awful following a divorce from a cheater. Some “Christians” … Continue reading “Best days ahead!”
The loss of friends
Yet my friends laugh at me, for I call on God and expect an answer. I am a just and blameless man, yet they laugh at me. -Job 12:4, NLT Years removed, it is still difficult to think of old “friends” and accept the friendship is over for good. These could have been relationships developed … Continue reading “The loss of friends”
Unhelpful point: God never intended marriage to end in divorce.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a … Continue reading “Unhelpful point: God never intended marriage to end in divorce.”
You want to believe the denials, but…
You want to believe the denials, but… …you know the truth in your gut, and it feels awful. Some cheaters deny the truth for months or longer after getting caught. Others admit it (to varying degrees). Yet cheaters know that we are predisposed to believing their lies. Who wants to believe a loved one was … Continue reading “You want to believe the denials, but…”
Possible? Maybe. Likely? No.
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. -Proverbs 26:11, NIV Within the Christian community, so much pressure is placed upon faithful spouses to “reconcile” with their cheating partners. Sometimes lip service is given to the importance that the cheater has actually changed and will not cheat again. However, the general … Continue reading “Possible? Maybe. Likely? No.”
Purity Culture Standards: “Used Gum” Problematic Metaphor
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT Have you ever heard the metaphor or analogy that having sex outside of marriage is like chewing gum then offering that used gum to your (future) spouse? … Continue reading “Purity Culture Standards: “Used Gum” Problematic Metaphor”