If a pastor asks a faithful spouse about your part in the divorce from a known cheater, that is a sign his advice for you is not going to be godly or good for you. This sort of blame-assigning question is like stomping on someone’s foot and then asking your victim what was his part in … Continue reading “If a pastor asks you…”
Author: Divorce Minister
Dear DM, My wife says that she deserves to be happy.
Dear Divorce Minister, I am separated from my wife. She left me and our boys, age 12, on November 2nd 2018. She said she was stressed dealing with one of our sons who has ADHD and ODD. At first, it was a 30 day separation and I was a good dad, husband, provider, etc. She … Continue reading “Dear DM, My wife says that she deserves to be happy.”
Happy Father’s Day, Faithful Dads!
7 For your shame ye shall have double; and for confusion they shall rejoice in their portion: therefore in their land they shall possess the double: everlasting joy shall be unto them. -Isaiah 61:7, KJV Our society occasionally acknowledges the difficulty for mothers on Mother’s Day. Sadly, we don’t do as good a job acknowledging the … Continue reading “Happy Father’s Day, Faithful Dads!”
Be cautious in sharing with (ex) in-laws!
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. -Ephesians 6:4, NIV I made an honest mistake when my marriage started to unravel: My mistake was to open and share my heart to the father of my (now) ex-wife. It was an honest mistake in that I … Continue reading “Be cautious in sharing with (ex) in-laws!”
Grief, Gratitude, and Entitlement
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart.The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” -Job 1:21b, NIV We can cause all sorts of suffering for ourselves if we approach our losses with a sense of entitlement. What do I mean? I am talking about those implicit contracts we “made” … Continue reading “Grief, Gratitude, and Entitlement”
DM channeling comfort
3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. -2 Corinthians 1:3-4, KJV … Continue reading “DM channeling comfort”
A song to encourage
Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him…. -Romans 6:8, KJV We know that Jesus is the embodiment of God’s love for you and me. It is through His sacrificial love on the Cross that we are set free from slavery to fear, performance, and perfectionism. He … Continue reading “A song to encourage”
Cheater: “Maybe God wants me to sacrifice my marriage like Isaac?”
And he [God] said, “Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.” -Genesis 22:2, KJV “Maybe God is asking me to sacrifice my marriage like … Continue reading “Cheater: “Maybe God wants me to sacrifice my marriage like Isaac?””
Happy-Maker, Spouse is not!
***Marriage is not a happy-making contract!*** The seemingly accepted “wisdom” on dealing with infidelity–especially emotional affairs–is to look to the marriage relationship for what was “missing.” In other words, why was the cheater unhappy? Besides being predicated on a sociologically proven false premise–i.e. cheaters only cheat when they are unhappy in their marriages (see Dr. … Continue reading “Happy-Maker, Spouse is not!”
Cheater-Speak: “Open and Honest”
“I have to be open and honest.” -Cheater This is a manipulation game for the unaware. A cheater seeking “openness” from a faithful spouse is really asking for them to show all their cards while the cheater holds their own close to the chest. It is a plea for one-sided disclosure. Openness is not the … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “Open and Honest””