“Thou shalt not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, KJV Adultery is… “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.” -from dictionary.com Cheaters are all about making up their own private definitions of adultery or cheating. Those “definitions” exist to “excuse” inexcusable, sinful behavior. A cheater might say such … Continue reading “Adultery is adultery.”
Author: Divorce Minister
Nancy Ortberg and WCC Elders’ “Efforts” to Reconcile
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.” -Luke 17:3, NLT Nancy Ortberg and the Willow Creek Church Elders’ “Efforts” to “Reconcile” The scandal continues to brew at Willow Creek Church in Chicago over Rev. Bill Hybels conduct with women over the years. I have written about this controversy before (here, … Continue reading “Nancy Ortberg and WCC Elders’ “Efforts” to Reconcile”
How to prepare for Christian couples counseling post-infidelity discovery
Cheating is exposed. Now, the cheater is willing to go to couples therapy and rebuild what the cheater destroyed. How does a faithful spouse approach such sessions with a Christian couples counselor? 1. Remember you have choices here. Did you choose this counselor? What do you know about him or her? If this person is … Continue reading “How to prepare for Christian couples counseling post-infidelity discovery”
Fitness Assessment is NOT Pastoral Care
When my trial to retain my minister’s license ended, I was given a year of “pastoral care” as part of my clearance with my (now former) denomination. The local denominational official in charge of executing this year of “pastoral care” decided it meant the year would conclude with a vote on my fitness–more or less–to … Continue reading “Fitness Assessment is NOT Pastoral Care”
As the Spirit moves…
“The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.” -John 3:8, NLT Being abandoned only to discover one’s spouse has an adultery partner is tough. That isn’t even … Continue reading “As the Spirit moves…”
Another Oldie But Goodie Song on Self-Respect
It’s a problem not unique to us. We are not the first people who are tempted to give up our self-respect in an attempt to keep the lying cheater. The following song at the bottom of this post is from a 1960s song about having some self-respect as a man walking away from an lying … Continue reading “Another Oldie But Goodie Song on Self-Respect”
Stuck. Cheater. Stuck.
Sometimes dealing with a cheater is like dealing with an immature teenager. They behave as if a marriage is like dumping a boyfriend or girlfriend. The depths of the betrayal they just committed do not seem to register for them. Worse yet, these immature boy-childs or little-girls seek conversations with their victims about “what went … Continue reading “Stuck. Cheater. Stuck.”
Hymn Encouragement: “Though the wrong….”
“This is my Father’s world: Oh, let me ne’er forget That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet.” -“This Is My Father’s World” by Maltbie Babcock It is rough. These are the times to remember an eternal perspective. God will deal with injustice ultimately. Today, I simply want to encourage you to … Continue reading “Hymn Encouragement: “Though the wrong….””
They probably are…
When I was going through my divorce–prior to discovering the adultery partner–my divorce lawyer suggested my ex and her family had tried to exploit my vulnerability. The details do not really matter. Her point was that my ex and her cohorts were likely up to no good. Fair was not their priority. I did not … Continue reading “They probably are…”
Another Good Song – “Babe” by Sugarland (featuring Taylor Swift)
I admire those faithful spouses who were able to enforce their boundaries with “just” one revelation of infidelity. These rare souls know they deserve to be treated better. And they have no problems enforcing their “deal-breakers” as in “you cheat on me, and we are over, period.” And for those who come here that are … Continue reading “Another Good Song – “Babe” by Sugarland (featuring Taylor Swift)”